The winners of the 16th annual International Obfuscated C Code Competition have been posted. This is the highly geeky contest that I've won five times in past years (once in collaboration with a friend). The object is to write the most bizarre but still functional computer program in C.

I submitted no entries this year, but I have an entry almost ready for next year's contest that I'm pretty confident will win.

I also have the idea for a Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest submission, but I need to work the words out just right. The object of this contest is to write the worst opening line of a novel. It's named in honor of the author who started his book with the line "It was a dark and stormy night".

We had an enjoyable evening. We went across the street to the Newton Circus Hawker Center (a hawker center is a food court with vendors selling local fare), and purchased four dinners. Not because we were starving, but the first three weren't that great, and at $3.50 Singapore dollars a plate we figured why settle for mediocre. On the fourth try we hit the jackpot: Mark ordered tiger prawns with chili sauce, and the sauce was soooo good I ended up ordering a small plate of rice to go with them and just poured some of his sauce on it as my dinner. YUM! After dinner we stumbled upon a dancing dragon. It's Chinese New Year so the Dragon puppets that go unanimated most of the year (except practice) and their peeps get the chance to do their thang.
On a sadder note, part of me feels guilty for escaping some of the grief I know I'd feel if I were in the States now for the victims of the Space Shuttle. There are no obvious half-mast flags (probably at the American Embassy, but I rarely go by), and no reminders of the tragedy outside of the T.V. as English language newspapers usually need to be hunted down to purchase, as opposed to being everywhere as in the States. Still, it's obviously a very tragic occurence, and I'm saddened whenever I think of the astronauts and their families.

We just watched our first DVD (L.A. Story). We're hip with the 90's! Woo!

Today was like the day after Thanksgiving back in the states; nobody was working because of Chinese New Year's, so everyone was out shopping. So Marjorie tells me, at any rate; I had to work, and from home, which I hate.

We still occasionally have exchanges where one of us will suddenly say, "We live in Singapore!", and the other responds, "I know, weird, isn't it?"

Here's where the space program should go from here, IMHO. As Marjorie pointed out, I used to work at Kennedy Space Center, and have more than a passing interest in the subject, but only enough knowledge to be dangerous.

1. Investigation of Jupiter's moon Europa. Widely cited by scientists as having the best chance of sustaining life in the solar system besides Earth. Under all its ice there's believed to be an ocean warmed by thermal activity. Exploring it will pose some interesting technical challenges. If we were to find life there, it would eclipse all the combined scientific achievements of the space program up to this point. And we would have to come to the conclusion that, if life could spring up separately twice in the same solar system, it must be ubiquitous throughout the galaxy.

2. Investigation of other potential life-sustaining moons, such as Callisto, and, I think, Ganymede?

3. A comet landing. Comets have played a crucial role in the evolution of our solar system, possibly even seeding our planet with the necessary raw materials for life, and have also been the likely cause of ecological disasters.

4. An asteroid landing. Probably the best scientific bang-for-your-buck.

5. Exploration of the outer planets. This is our best picture of Pluto and its moon.

All of these should be unmanned. Not that this is cowardice in the face of disaster, but because man in space hasn't been a good idea for a long time. Launching humans is just an expensive conceit. I don't know, maybe it's necessary to keep public interest and therefore public funding, but to me that just says that public opinion needs to change...

It is both unbelievable to see, and not at all surprising. The shuttle fleet has been aging. I had still been holding my breath with every launch, and breathing a sigh of relief when I heard that a launch went off successfully. That's where it's surprising; the launches are soooo much more dangerous than the reentries, what with the shuttle sitting on thousands of pounds of explosives. Still, I knew deep down that another disaster would occur, some day.

Future of the program? The shuttle, I think, has always been pretty much a boondoggle, and claims of the scientific worth of the missions have been greatly exaggerated. I've always been more in favor of unmanned missions. There's so much still to explore in the solar system, and it's just not possible to take men anywhere beyond the moon. Costs of manned space travel are prohibitive, both in human terms, as we saw today, and monetary terms. Still, having a shuttle program was better than having no space program at all. This should pretty much put a wrap on this version of the shuttle program. I'll be surprised if there's any more launches, except maybe to retrieve the guys in the space station. Jeez, what's going to happen to that thing? I have no doubt that a new manned program will be planned out and approved as a result of this. The people like the manned missions. It'll probably just new model shuttles; I don't know what else they could do. It'll be two or three years at least before anything new could be launched.

I hope they had a quick death. BBC is reporting that their fate is unknown -- but they're dead, no question. It's just so... sad.

We just found out about the Space Shuttle Columbia. It's so sad. We're both utterly depressed. I'm sure Mark will have more to say about this as he used to work at the Space Center, and eye-witnessed the Space Shuttle Challenger tragedy.
Really, so sad. I hope this doesn't provide an excuse for the government to end or reduce funding for the space program.

Birds. Found a nice site that has let me identify some of the birds we've seen around Singapore. About seventy-five percent of the birds you see are mynahs, and twenty percent are crows, sparrows, or pigeons. It's the remaining five percent that make you sit up and take notice.

Our seventeenth floor apartment affords us a nice view of some tree canopies. In fact, what got me on this today is that I just spotted a large black and yellow bird, that we had seen a few times, which I now know is a black-naped oriole. A few minutes back while out jogging I saw a yellow-bellied sunbird. And a few weeks back I saw two yellow-vented bulbuls. And last year while we were visiting here I'm pretty sure we saw a common kingfisher.

I have a knack for reading books that, unbeknownst to me, are about to be turned into movies, or have just been turned into movies. In the past few years it happened with Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas and The Quiet American. More obscurely, it happened with A Beautiful Mind, which I somehow didn't hate after first seeing, but have since decided it a big stinker. I strongly encourage reading the book; the movie left out so much about the fascinating character of John Nash that you'd hardly recognize him.

Now they're making a movie treatment Master and Commander, a rather obscure book I've just about finished. Unfortunately, it stars the same crew as played in A Beautiful Mind: the annoying Russell Crowe, and the annoying Paul Bettany. On the other hand, it's directed by Peter Weir, who did one of my favorite movies, Fearless. I'm still inclined to think it will suck.

What possesses me to use big showy words like "triumvirate" and "unbeknownst" when I write? I don't talk that way. Rather ostentatious of me. Oops, there I go again.

HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR!! Today is the first day of the Year of The Goat. So far Mark and I have not participated in any of the festivities, but today we might have more luck. Luckily, the New Year is celebrated over a series of days, so we have multiple opportunities to get involved. This very nice Singaporean gentleman I met on the plane ride home told me that Lunar New Year is similar to the American Thanksgiving in that it's an occasion when people generally spend time with their families and visit their extended families, and not so similar to the Western New Year's Eve. So, unfortunately there may be fewer activities to view then I initially thought, but I'm sure there are still plenty of things going on around town to celebrate the occasion.
Have I mentioned how much I like Singaporean's yet? The guy I met on the plane was so nice, and generally the people we encounter on the streets are really charming as well. Singapore is a very friendly country. Perhaps because there is so little crime, people aren't as guarded as they are at home.
I'm up at 5:00am again today. Gotta love jet lag! There are some perks to it though, as I'm not generally a morning person, it gives me a chance to view the world at a time when I'm normally unconscious. I predict I'll get over this bout pretty easily though as I never fully acclimated to the time change when I went back to the States.

I'm Here! Sorry I haven't written lately. I've had an awful lot on my mind the last few days. I'm glad to be back in Singapore, and very grateful to be off the plane. I wish the weather today was a little better though. It's been raining all day, which has prevented us from going out and participating in any New Year's activities. But we did get to do something new today, we ordered home delivered beer from a local microbrew (Brewerks). Can't do that in Georgia.

Yay, Marjorie's home! 'Bout time, too, as the dishes were really starting to pile up. I kid.

It's one in the afternoon, and she's fast asleep. No surprise there. If the rain lets up, we're going to maybe hit the Hong Bao tonight.

Things Marjorie brought from home:

A triumvirate of my favorite candies: Sour Patch Kids, Swedish Fish, and Haribo Gummi Bears. The only real gummi bears are hard gummi bears. Only heathens eat the soft variety.

DVDs: Rushmore, Bottle Rocket, Pulp Fiction, for our as-yet nonexistent DVD player. I've actually never seen Bottle Rocket, it just came as part of a deal with Rushmore.

Most of our wedding dishes and flatware, and my favorite bowls.

Two packets Shake and Bake chicken recipe.

Two big fluffy towels.

Various other clothes and knickknacks.

My guitar tuner.

Coffee table coasters, and a shower curtain, designed to hold photographs.

My X-Arcade Joystick. Not! I forgot to remind her. That's her story, at any rate.

Sorry about the lack of updates. I've just been passing time in this training class all week. I'm ready for Marjorie to be home. She's ready to come home. She's not ready for the long flight. Like, REALLY not ready for it. Be strong, my cherub.

Sign spotted in the bus today:

Fly Thai Air to Thailand.

So many things to see, you'll want to come back.

I guess when you're Thailand, you don't have to work that hard on your slogans.

I'm not the worst player on the team, I think, and for that I'm thankful. I had a bear of a time finding cleats (er, boots) that fit me today. I went to a mall that at least a dozen stores that sold them, and there were TWO pairs that fit me in the whole place. I gots big feets by American standards, huge by Asian standards.

Anyway, we had at least ten extra players show up, so I didn't even think I was going to play. And the weather was a balmy eight thousand degrees. I told myself I wasn't going to try to volley the ball out of the air today, because that's the easiest way to make yourself look really stupid if you're out of practice. But during warmup I cranked a booming volley perfectly into the side of the net, that I think the coach saw, so I got some play time in. I was nothing too spectacular on the field (er, pitch), but there were no major miscues. Because of Chinese New Year, I have two weeks to get in shape for the next game, which should help.

I scuffed both knees up pretty good, and an ankle, but not too major. The kind of injury your mom used to spray Bactine on, that only causes you a lot of pain when you get in the shower and the water trickles down onto them... Ouchy. So I decided to jump in the pool instead. I stick both legs in, and it stings. I start to swim, and start shivering, thinking "Man, this water must be cold..." Then I remember.

I am Mr. Shocks Aplenty. For some reason, I go into shock at the drop of a hat. Shivering, jaw clenching, goose bumps, spasms... Even for extremely minor injuries like scraping your knee, twisted ankles... probably even paper cuts. It usually happens at night, just as I settle into bed. The worst time was when I dreamt I was in a car accident, and woke up in shock.

I decide that maybe the pool isn't the best place for this to happen, so I get out, thinking that I'm probably the only person in this tropical city who's shivering right now. It'll probably happen again tonight, as I said, when I go to bed. I've mentioned this to doctors, but none have ever heard of this... condition, or whatever you'd call it. It's not a big deal, just annoying.

Tomorrow, and for the next four days, I have a training class. Joy! (That's sarcasm.) I never want to be trained, I just want to have training.

A fun Saturday, spent -- working. Ah well. Suede concert is in an hour. But first, a quick jog.

CONCERT WRAP-UP: A good show. They were energetic, and "on". The venue was fabulous; outdoors on a breezy night, with just a few clouds, some stars peeking through, and some skyscrapers as a backdrop. It's a lot easier to see over the heads of a Singaporean crowd than an American one. The crowd of 5000 or so was, I'd say, about one third Westerners. I even saw my second black person since I've been in Singapore (sadly, I did not have a camera). Everyone was into the show; I half expected people to be there out of curiousity, but they cheered in recognition at the beginning of most every song, and sang along to much of it. (It's seems there's a much hipper indie music scene here than I expected. We really must find out where they all hang out.) I myself was only familiar with one album, Coming Up, which was featured often in the set list (though sadly, not my favorite tune, She). Their best tune was one that I wasn't familiar with, but loved immediately: "She's In Fashion".

It was weird to see the crowd unified, like they never are in the US, in hand clapping, arm swaying, or singing, at the beckoning of frontman Brett Anderson. He finished by telling the crowd that Singapore was one of the few places in the world where he'd consider living.

They had the standard concert snacks, just like back stateside: kotong balls, otoh sticks, curry puffs... I kid. Strange food, but otherwise, for the most part, a very Western-like concert experience...

Apparently Bob, owner of Rocky's, had terminal cancer. This is the most recent information I've heard. I feel so bad for his kids. Regina and Rudi (who is quoted in the article) were really nice kids when I knew them, in spite of the fact that both their parents were crazy, and they'd seen way too much. Regina has a baby now. Last time I saw her she was so grown up and Bob was talking about taking better care of himself because he was a grandfather now. Funny how time flies. I remember taking Regina to the Womad concerts when she was around 12 and chatting with Rudi when he'd visit the restaurant. Both kids were really sweet, hope they still are. They've been through so much. There's a memorial service at the restaurant tomorrow for Bob. I may go.

A better run tonight, about 3K without stopping. Jogged down to a local park looking for a place to kick a ball around. No dice; just a trail around a lake. I will try again tomorow. In the other direction there's a school for the "Spastic Children's Association". No political correctness here, it seems. Maybe they have a soccer field, but I'm afraid I'll be harrassed by a bunch of spastic kids.

When I got back I made it running up a full 13 floors this time before feeling that urge to die. If there's ever a fire and I have to run up and save Marjorie, I hope she's patient.

My new baby. This is her. Now stop looking at her, she's mine. In my excitement to get her home I forgot to buy a guitar strap or picks, so I'm playing tonight using the edge of a credit card. My fingers have lost all their callouses, so I'm all hurty.

Let's get out there and start sucking! I'm all set to play soccer on Sunday. Well, except that I have no cleats, clothes, or stamina, and haven't played in ten years, but beyond that I'm ready. I've watched a lot on TV lately, and it doesn't look that hard.

Had Turkish food last night. It was nummy. Ended up at a nice little Irish pub that actually has bar trivia once a month, sponsored by some children-with-special-needs organization. How perfect is that? The owner and his wife were really nice too.

Me and my shadow: Beau follows me everywhere in the house. I go to the kitchen, Beau comes along. I go upstairs, Beau follows me (even though he is not allowed upstairs and he knows it). I go to the bathroom, Beau tries to push his nose into the door to open it. He obviously missed me. It's really sweet, but makes me feel guilty for not being here and for leaving in a week...Maybe he can come to S'pore with me. What do you think Mark?
In remembrance of Bob my former employer who recently killed himself, I'll try to recall some stories about Rocky's, the restaurant I used to work at as a waitress. Here's a quick description: A swanky (or trying to be) pizza/pasta restaurant in Buckhead. There's a list when you come in of all the celebrities that have eaten here. Among the list are Pat Buchanan and John Gotti (this dichotomy is very Rocky's. Bob befriended, or at least kissed the asses of all famous people and there was definitely some Mafia connection). Others that visited the restaurant in the time I worked there are: Jerry Garcia, Laurence Fishburn (met him, rather nice), Sinbad, Toni Braxton, Madonna, Joe Fraiser (a regular), Eldrin Bell(chief of police at the time), Max Cleland, GA Senator (who is a shitty tipper BTW)....there were lots of celebrities in the place over the years and many politicians (I became jaded about politics largely because of Rocky's. There is definitely a connection between politics and the Mafia. If you don't believe it just look up Bob's criminal record which was somehow overlooked and underpunished by the politicians that befriended him again and again).
There were also always LOTS of drugs in the restaurant. Both managers were heavy coke users. Most pizza cooks and several of the waitstaff were potheads who would sneak outside behind the garbage bins at night to get stoned. Many of the staff also took nips of beer, Chianti, or homey wine during their shift (homey wine is cheap really strong sangria-like wine the restaurant claimed was "home made" and served to guests with peaches. In actuality it was sold in screw top big old jugs like Boones Farm). I myself made a concoction of homey wine, sprite and pink lemonade on many occasions. Ironically, in spite of all the drug use, a lot of the kitchen staff were Muslim Moroccans who would take breaks during the day/night to pray. Many of these guys were perfectly nice, but some of them had serious issues with women and would constantly make advances on the waitresses.
And then there was Bob. Bob was also a coke addict (although I never saw him use it, just the effects). In the winter he would often stroll through the restaurant, chatting to guests, and pat at the guns in his gunbelt concealed under his jacket. On one particularly wild occasion after the restaurant had closed and all the staff had cleared out, Bob and one of his friends played "firing range" in the restaurant leaving several sweet little bullet holes that could then be seen above the smoking section booths and in the bathroom. The existence or raison d'etre for the holes was always denied, but they're there (still).
Bob was crazy, definitely, but not without some charm. He was always nice to me (although sometimes he scared me). And he wasn't stupid, he knew his life was bizarre and would make comments about it's soap opera-esque qualities he would refer to as "as the pizza turns". He had a good sense of humor and he generally treated his employees generously by feeding us most nights and letting us drink a free beer after shifts (while overlooking the stolen glasses of wine during the shift).
Many of the best friends I have in my life I met at Rocky's. The craziness of the place really somehow managed to create a (dysfunctional) family environment, which while totally insane, was really warm and fun a lot of the time. I'm going to see some other former employees this week. I'll pick their brains and see if I can come up with some of the better stories for you over the next week. There are sooo many stories to tell.

The Joys of Jet Lag. I'm back in Atlanta for a few days. After a very, very, very long and unpleasant flight, I've concluded (again) that United's economy class sucks. Japan air seems to be much better. I must really love my husband to be willing to get back on a plane and do the flight in reverse in a week.
I woke up at 2:00am this morning Atlanta time and called Mark. I then proceeded to take care of most of the tasks I'd planned for the day, so now at 7:40am, I'm feeling rather accomplished. I'm sure I'll pass out by 11:00am though, atleast hopefully I will so I can get in a good nap before Trivia this evening.
I've already gotten in some good puppy cuddling time with my parents' dogs, Beau and Sadie. I really miss them when I'm in S'pore. My dad refers to me as the "third puppy" which, honestly, is probably how Beau and Sadie see me. I'm not really an authority figure to them, just a pal that takes them out of the house to cool places like Piedmont Park and the Carter center where they can swim in stinky water and sniff lots of other doggys' butts. I also let them do lots of things they're not supposed to do, like come upstairs and sleep in a "people bed" with me.

Marjorie's home safe. I just a call from her. That's a load off. After thirty hours of flying, she might have to be threatened at gunpoint to get back on the plane again in ten days.

I stink right now. More than usual, I mean. Mildew is a big problem here, and the shirt I'm wearing today is getting more and more pungent as the day goes on. I just saw the repairman about fixing our dryer, so we hopefully won't have to hang things out to dry anymore, which is a big part of the problem.

Had some awesome dim sum for lunch today. I was a little trepidatious, since all I could remember from my last time having it (in Toronto) was eating lots and lots of tentacles. No tentacles this time, though I was saved at the last moment from accidentally ordering spicy chicken feet.

Sucking wind. Trying to get in shape for soccer. Tried to go for a jog last night, but got a cramp after about 500 meters (look at me, I'm Mr. Metric). Walked a little, jogged a little, walked a little... Got a second wind as I got back to our high rise, and tried to jog up the seventeen floors to our apartment. Could only make it up eleven. I feel like a fat tub of goo.

This takes me back. A more in-depth article on John Poindexter, who I used to work with. It even mentions the project I worked on with him (Genoa). Scary guy. But smart as all get out.

Back when I was working on this stuff, my roommates at the time cultivated their own image of what my job was. Their vision was like this: I stand out on the edge of a field, in a white lab coat, with a clipboard. Around me are a bunch of five-star generals and various military brass. In the middle of the field is a baby carriage. The whistle of a bomb dropping is heard. The baby carriage explodes. Everyone gives a golf clap and nods their approval at each other, as I jot down notes on my clipboard.

Not a terribly accurate job description, but it still kind of cracks me up. I'm quite glad not to be working in that industry anymore, though.

Google strikes again. Have you seen this? It appears that the mighty search engine Google is branching out into yet another searchable class of items -- namely, anything you might ever want to buy. You have to admire their chutzpah.

People have tried to make intelligent price-finding agents before, that automatically go out and find the cheapest price for something. They're usually met by resistance from the site owners who don't want their prices instantly compared to everybody else's. Google might have the clout to make it work this time.

There can be broad economic repercussions from this type of tool. Like, what chance does a store have if it's not selling something at the cheapest price to be found anywhere on the internet? Follow that to its logical end and someday every product might have a fixed price.

Hmmm, I looked again, and it doesn't actually do price comparisons. Maybe someday. Right now it's all about just finding the product you're looking for, which is still cool enough.

They need to branch this tool out a bit though, like the ability to filter for products that can actually be delivered to a given country. All the sites indexed by Froogle that I used to shop at won't deliver to Singapore. Sniff.

Beat the clock. I'm in the Hong Kong airport, trying to blog a few lines before getting (back) on a plane for 25 hours. I hate to fly inspite of my love for traveling. It literally hurts, I have to take sudafed and wear these funky ear plugs to keep my head from feeling like it's going to explode during every take off and landing.
I'm relatively fortunate today because they booked me in aisle seats the whole way, so at least I can go to the bathroom without disturbing anyone else.
Crazy about Bob, but like Mark alluded too, he lead a crazy life and this is not a surprising end. I'll have to write more about him when I have more time.
Wish me luck on the rest of my journey.

Marjorie's on her way back to Atlanta, to tie up loose ends and bring back some stuff. She should be on her way to Hong Kong right now; from there, on to San Francisco, then Atlanta. I don't envy her the 30 or so hours it'll take to get home. As for myself, to keep from getting lonely, tonight I'm going to go get a curvaceous new stand-in for her.

Marjorie's former boss killed himself last night, in dramatic fashion. I had met him a few times. I can't say I'm surprised -- not because he ever seemed depressed, but because Marjorie has relayed to me so many crazy stories about him (involving celebreties, the mafia, infidelities, etc.) that I had the feeling he wasn't going to die of old age. I'll let her clue you in.

Lousy stinking Eagles.

Earnest and Stupid This is a tag description I came up with awhile ago to describe the recipe for bad lyrics. Just think about it. Almost every Heavy Metal ballad (think "every rose has it's thorns") is earnest and stupid. Every boy band love song, the same. "Eternal Flame" by the Bangles, earnest and stupid. And yet, so many hits fall into this category. It really makes you wonder.
On a different note, we went to see "Full Frontal" tonight (the new Steven Soderbergh movie). It was....interesting. Not the best movie I've ever seen but it definitely gave us topics to discuss afterwards, which is what all good art should do -- provoke discussion.

Boring sports post. You have been warned.

In American football, my Eagles play their last game ever at Veteran's Stadium today. If they actually show it here (they've shown a few other games, but not all), it'll be at like 3 in the morning. I'm debating whether to get up. I never saw an Eagles game at the Vet, but I went to a few baseball games there as a child, and they are fond memories. I think the Phillies are still going to have their season there this year before they raze it. Anyway, go Eagles!

On to non-American football. We get a lot of English premier league coverage here. They even have a Manchester United store up the road (called Manchester United Kids!). Well, it seems that two players from Team USA are making their presence known out there. Brian McBride has had an awesome start while on loan to Everton for three months (three goals in two games, including an amazing bicycle kick goal). And Brad Friedel is being called the best keeper in the league, for Blackburn.

I've contacted some people via email and hopefully I'll be starting to play myself next week. I asked on the Expat Singapore discussion board if anyone knew of a league for out-of-shape windsuckers with deteriorated ball skills, and got a bite. I wonder how badly I'll stink up the field.

Giddy on good beer. We went out for German food tonight and I had a Paulaner Hefe-Weis Bier. Yum. Funny you can find better German food in Asia then in the States, but it seems to be so.
Afterwards we went to a bar and lost our Asian Karaoke virginity singing "All you need is love" (Mark), and "La Isle Bonita"(Me). We also met a fellow southern Expat, a gent named Lynn who we were able to chat with merrily about hawker centers, pedestrian life-style, and the joys of Tioman Island.
We are really enjoying living here. You all should definitely come and visit. S'pore's great. Really, and on so many different levels. I mean, how many other places can you spot a monkey while waiting for the bus?

Wildlife spotting. Today we took the bus up the road to Bukit Timah Nature Reserve. Cool new bird spotted for the life list: the greater racquet-tailed drongo. He let us walk right up under him. He seemed to be intentionally hanging out in the vicinity of a small squirrel; not sure what was going on there. Supposedly, there are pangolins there, which I would love to see, but they are rare and shy. There are supposed to be monkeys there, too, but we didn't see any -- that is, until we left the reserve and were waiting at the bus stop for the ride home. I looked back into the trees lining the road and spotted a long-tailed macaque. He poked his head out and let us get a good look at him.

I'm such a stinker. At one point while we were at the reserve, Marjorie said, "They have those flying snakes in Singapore, don't they." "Yeah," I said. (They do.) "Huh," she said. I could see she was thinking about them as we walked on. So a few seconds later, as I was walking behind her, I just touched her neck lightly. She about threw herself on the ground in reaction. She was ready to kill me.

In other news, you might remember I was debating whether to start taking language lessons in Cantonese (as is spoken by Chinese people in Hong Kong and the United States) or Mandarin (as is spoken by pretty much everyone else). Well, I've decided. I'm going to learn Japanese.

We had quite an eventful evening, in a low-key kind of way. We had dinner at Wala Wala Cafe in Holland Village. After a quick stop at the Haagen-Dazs afterwards, we were meandering to the taxi stand and spotted Kristen of Krisalis (I recognized her from her picture), a blog we've been reading for the better part of a year. We made quick introductions, met Kristen and her fiance Mark, and also met Andrea another blogosphere neighbor. Coolio. We then caught a cab and had the absolute BEST driver ever. Our driver asked where we were from (we said Atlanta) and then proceeded to tell us about his personal experience staying in the Travelodge in downtown Atlanta. He knew all about Peachtree Road having walked all the way from downtown to the Fox in an attempt to walk the entire length of Peachtree Rd. (not an easy feat). He was great. He then proceeded to tell us all about his travels through the U.S.A. The man has been to more places then I have. Really, puts me to shame. He'd been to the Grand Canyon, and Yosemite, and San Diego, and "to your poor cousin Mexico" as well. Hard to explain why, but in many ways this man exemplifies the charm of Singapore. We're so happy to be here, and are so utterly charmed with the people here. I'm sure we'll have many more stories to tell.......

A list of my top 20 movies can be found here. Having a Merchant/Ivory film as my #1 doesn't make me gay, does it? (Not that there's anything wrong with that).

We've got full power, Cap'n! At long last, I have my own power cord for my portable. I had to get one from Ebay, after five fruitless attempts to attain one through the Dell branch in S'pore. Those guys are utterly useless. It'll be nice to be able to surf without the Sword of Damocles battery indicator ticking down at the bottom of the screen.

Question of the day. How long before Bush gets a dog? Presidents always do it at times when they need a soft news piece to be run on them. He's been slipping in the polls, and the election's not too far off, so it'll have to be soon. I have half a mind to set up a betting pool web site where people guess the time of the announcement and the type of dog.

Censorship We knew it happened here, but had yet to observe until yesterday. In less than an hour we experienced two acts of censorship: First, Mark observed that the article "a day in the life of a porn star" had been sliced out of the British Marie Claire I had purchased (interesting he noticed it, huh). Second, I was watching HBO waiting for Sex and The City to come on, it got up to the "and now the HBO original series Sex and The City" and then blip, some dumb movie with Alan Cumming. Looks like you were right Greg, no S&TC for me here. Altogether damned inconvenient but, we knew censorship happened here. Oh well.

I now know enough about what I'm working on that I can actually describe it.

If you've ever called technical support about anything, you'll notice that the tech support guys guide you through a series of questions. This series of questions is not something they have written down sequencially on a sheet of paper; too much depends on your answers to previous questions, and there's a wealth of possible outcomes. My friend out here has a startup company that plans on building software that helps the people who man those lines figure out what questions to ask, and what diagnoses to suggest, using an artificial intelligence technique.

The technique has a lot of broader applications, but technical support is a boom industry out here. Many times, when you call tech support from the States or Europe, your call ends up here.

To overuse an analogy, I've been drinking from the firehose since I started working. I've already learned heaps, and there's no end in sight. The hours are long, but I'm not forgetting I have a lovely new bride. Fortunately, she goes to sleep before I do, so I can spend the few hours after she goes to bed in the evening (that I used to spend jacking around) working. Like I should be doing now, I guess... Being "actualized" is a good thing.

Food update. Had lunch today at Mos Burger. As you can tell by the site, it's a Japanese chain. The menu, in English here in Singapore, starts with hamburgers and cheeseburgers, then gets progressively weirder. Eventually it gets down to a unagi burger (which is eel meat), where the bun isn't a bun, it's a sticky rice paddy. Yummy. I went with the plain hamburger.

Had a business dinner tonight at the BrauHaus, a German place, as you probably guessed. It's right up the road from us, and has the best beer selection I've yet seen in town. We had the mixed sausage plate, and the half pig-knuckle. Pig-knuckle is a first for me.

We saw the nastiest thing for sale in a wet market here last weekend; a pig face. The eyes, brains, hair, and skull were removed, and it just sat there on ice in the display case like a soggy mask.

I'm excited that there's a place right downstairs from my work that sells nothing but fresh fruit. I'm going to snack on fruit every day. Starting tomorrow. Today, I opted for the Mrs. Field's chocolate chip macadamia nut cookie.

Little things about Vietnam keep recirculating through my mind lately: An elderly women carrying her grown son on her back in Ho Chi Minh city. He must have had Cerebral Palsy, he was very emaciated and clearly paralyzed, she smiled weakly at me as we passed in a taxi;
Tiny little children yelling "Hello!" to Mark and myself as we wandered along a river in Hue, in an area where not many tourist venture;
The "man of the house" at our homestay in Sapa keeping us up singing that Jack Wagner hit "nothing's gonna change my love for you...";
Watching some Caucasian women on the beach in Hoi An surrounded by vendors trying to sell them stuff they didn't want or need, and feeling very grateful to be in the no harassment zone provided by our hotel. Then looking towards the opposite end of the beach at the Victoria hotel's Elephant "Darling" giving guests rides up and down the beach.
Seeing so many limbless people making their livings by begging in the streets of Ho Chi Minh.
Vietnam was tough, but I'm glad we went. I saw a travel show today with a guy in Cambodia, the Cambodians on the show had the same flat affect I saw on people in Vietnam, maybe an expression that comes from living through so many horrible things lik War, Genocide and Poverty. They went to a temple and the man said he was going to pray for the same thing all Cambodians pray for: "peace and prosperity".
Singapore is nothing like it's nearby neighbors. It's more like the U.S. in many respects than those places, but not so long ago they weren't so different. The Singaporean people have worked amazingly hard to create this incredibly modern and safe city. The striking differences really make me wonder, what is the difference between a modern "1st world" city, and a "3rd world" place? The difference between Hanoi, Ho Chi Minh, and Singapore makes some things easily identifiable in terms of what makes me feel more secure in a city, and makes a city seem more modern:
1. Construction site regulations and dust sheets to protect the surrounding areas from all of the dust created by the building site. There were no shields in Hanoi or much of Vietnam and the cities were dusty and overly polluted because of it (Ho Chi Minh seemed to be an exception).
2. Side walks should be kept open for pedestrians. In Vietnam, especially Hanoi, the sidewalks were primarily used to park motorbikes, forcing people to walk in the streets.
3. A central agency to regulate food sales, such as a board of health. No such entity appears to exist in Vietnam. In Singapore all food vendors are required to display their health/cleanliness rating, same as the U.S. and probably all other modern nations.
4. Clean water. This is crucial. How does a country provide clean drinking water for its populace? I don't know, but it's a requirement to be considered a modern metropolis (at least to me it is).
5. Child labour laws. We interacted with way too many very young kids out in the streets all over Vietnam selling things to help support their families. When do they play?
I'm sure more things like the preceding will occur to me later. It's just interesting to thing about these things, especially now that we live in a Country/City that's made the transition in the fairly recent past. What are the conditions necessary to become a modern city? I know some of these conditions would probably not be met by many places in the U.S.. It would make an interesting study. Can anyone tell I have my undergrad degree in Sociology? I love this stuff.

Little things -- evidence that we are not in Kansas anymore:

I can't imagine this happening in Atlanta. At lunch today, at a cafeteria-style place, a woman reserved her table -- by putting her keys on it. She wasn't back with her food for ten minutes.

Umbrellas are sold at a place nearby -- S$8 (about $5 US) when it's not raining, only S$6 when it is raining. Downright unAmerican.

Commercial breaks that only last one minute.

Bought a packet of hard salami. The calorie content was listed on the label under "Energy".

Yummy! I made Thai green curry with chicken for dinner tonight using the new recipe book I found. It was soooo yummy. It's so sad that this is the most exciting thing I have to report from the day, but.......
On other fronts, I've sent my past work information to the American Association here so hopefully they'll be able to link me to an agency that could use my volunteered time. I clearly need more to do here and an outlet to meet new people. Speaking of meeting people, I'm going to be in Atlanta next week. I'd love to see the old Posse.

Like, soooo interesting. This is so spot on. My niece Abi is now at the age where she recognizes things as sarcasm, but thinks it's sooooo stupid when you use it. The article neglects to mention how much fun it is to use anyway. She's still a sweetheart, though, and that's not sarcastic...

My first real day of work in the office where I'll be toiling away. Pretty cool. Right now they have me in the conference room, which is like a big private window office of my own. Too, it's on the 24th floor, looking directly east from here. Zoom out a bit to see where on the island this is. There's a view out over the shipping lane where boats line up (er, queue) to come into the port. On a clear day, there's a chance I might be able to see Indonesia. Though I doubt I'll be in the conference room for long; instead, it'll be a desk in one of those typing pool-type offices (lots of desks, no dividers). I hate that.

Making progress already at work. Amazing how much you can get done when you work solidly all day, and how much more fulfilling it is.

Not quite the day off I'd hoped for. Our planned excursion to Bukit Timah Nature Reserve was foiled by a late start and a rainstorm. The bird singing place was pretty much a bust, and the Monkey Temple that was supposed to be nearby seems to be gone. Too, the guitar shop where I planned on getting a new acoustic was closed. It's still a lot of fun to just tool around the city randomly though.

We just watched The Sixth Sense on TV -- Marjorie's first time, my second. As far as I could tell, it was completely unedited. I was worried that Marjorie was going to figure it all out before the end. She totally nailed the Munchausen-syndrome-by-proxy part before they revealed what was going on -- she always picks up on things like that before I do in movies. Luckily she didn't figure out the... other part.

We have a pet, sort of. There's a mynah that comes and sings to us everyday from the porch opposite ours. I occasionally go out there and tweet or whistle back at him/her and he/she responds by looking over and tweeting or squawking back. It's a great little interaction with nature.

One of the consequences of living here and having friends and family back in the states is that nearly all the blog comments, email, and discussion list postings we receive occur while we sleep. Mornings we check it all in one fell swoop.

In other words, all of our social interactions now come in digest form.

Sorry for the irregular postings on my side. We still don't have a plug here for the portable, so Mark has to charge it at work, which gives one only a short window to web surf and such. So....sorry. Things are slowly moving along for us. Mark is working crazy hours, which is to be expected with a new project, but leaves me alone for way too much of the day. My days have been filled with running to the Cold Storage (grocery store) several times a day to stock the house with goodies. Or I run off to some shop to buy whatever home item it is we need. Not too stimulating. I need a job. I'll probably try to volunteer some of my time next week, seems there are a number of good social organizations here related to special education that would be happy to get a few hours of my time.
Other than the boredom and loneliness, which is typical of not working anywhere, Singapore is great so far. The people are relatively nice. The food is great. Almost anything you want from home can be found here. Even the weather has been kind lately, with today's weather staying in the mid-80's and breezy, just how I like it.

Life is unfair. We're ordering cable TV. I tell Marjorie I can do without the sports channels option -- even though I was addicted to watching soccer while we were in Vietnam (there's never any coverage in the US). She says, "Really? I'm getting HBO." (She's loves "Sex and the City".) So I say, "Okay, I'm getting the sports, then."

Cable has been installed. Turns out, HBO doesn't show "Sex and the City" here. Not hard to figure out why. Nor do they show "The Sopranos", or "Six Feet Under", it seems. Maybe it's just off-season.

But I get lots of soccer. And rugby. Mwu-ha-ha-ha-ha...

I guess I should be saying "football" instead of "soccer". We're gradually catching on to the Britishisms they use around here. I've successfully used the terms "taking the piss", "queue", and "lift", but "boot" (for "trunk") and "mate" (for "friend") still sound weird to me.

Surprised to see that a band I recently started to like is actually playing here in a couple of weeks -- Suede (aka the London Suede). Tickets are expensive (about $40 US), but the service fee is only a buck! Here's hoping TicketMaster doesn't discover this place.

Still setting up house. We went to Ikea last night. I'm glad to see Marjorie is not as in love with that place as she used to be (I've always referred to it as "Icky-Uh", which we've found is pretty much how Singaporeans pronounce it. They're a wise bunch). But it is convenient for some simple, cheap household purchases.

Today we get cable TV and cable modem. Currently our TV only gets some very wacky Asian channels. We do seem to get all the Bollywood we want, though.

Residency. We found an apartment, and have moved in. Our moving van was two taxicabs.

It's a smallish but nice place, quite near to some major shopping areas. We have a six month lease.

Are we officially ex-pats now? Maybe not until I get my work permit. We're working on that. My job so far has consisted of shopping for parts for the computer I'll be using, and assembling it. This is all work-at-home, so far; I haven't yet been in to the office where I'll be stationed.

We witnessed a rare Singapore occurrence last night: a crime. While in a taxi, we came across an accident, where a guy in a car knocked over a woman on a motorbike. They were arguing about it, and then the guy got angry and tried to karate kick the girl in the chest. Unfortunately he was about six inches too far away to actually make contact (I think he was drunk). Then he grabbed her jacket and tried to wrestle her to the ground. Our cab driver jumped out and helped another guy subdue him.

Consider the lilies of the field. I start to work tomorrow. Why is it that a man should have to work? Aren't we the most advanced species on the planet? Why is it that only we toil away at jobs?

While we're at it, it's the 2000's. Aren't robots supposed to be doing all the work for us by now?

Shall we dance? You're walking along, through a crowd. Somebody coming the opposite direction has a trajectory that leads directly into you. You look up just before you run into each other, then start to move to one side, just as he moves to the same side. So you start to move the other way, again, just as he does. You smile at each other, and gesture with your eyes to one side, and finally, you move around each other.

It happens thousands of times in every life. The other day, though, I had that experience with a buddhist monk, in full robes, coming out of the subway.

WESTERN UNION IS AN EVIL INSTITUTION AND CAN BITE MY BUTT!!!!!!!!
Mark and I have made some mistakes during this move. One of these mistakes was not setting up a bank account as soon as we arrived in S'pore. What can I say, this is a learning process and we've been under a lot of stress, and some important things have been neglected. So, anyway, now that we've found an apartment (maybe) we needed to put down a deposit and needed lots of money immediately. Enter Western Union and my father, who is wonderful and able to access our account from home.
So, my dad gets money from our account and wires it to us here in S'pore using Western Union. Thanks Dad, really, we appreciate all your help. That said Western Union sucks!!! They charge a fee for wiring the money, it's an outrageous fee, but its published upfront and that's not what I'm complaining about...what I'm complaining about is the crappy exchange rate they give you without giving you the option to pick up the money in the denomination sent (in this case USD). So, they STOLE about $50.USD from us, which is over $100. SGD by giving us a horrible exchange rate ($1USD = $1.707 SGD it should be $1 USD = $1.74 SGD). I've sent them an e-mail asking how they determine this crap rate and asking for my money back, but I don't there will be any recourse. They really are evil, you know? I mean most of the people that use their service are poor. And I imagine most people sending currency across borders are immigrant workers sending money home to their families (in the States perhaps mostly Mexican and other Hispanic workers, here in S'pore, probably mostly Indian laborers or Filipino maids sending money home) only to be charged on both ends by this corporate monster with no scruples. Bastards.
Aside from that I'm happy to be moving into our own place (fingers crossed, hope, hope, hope!!) soon. Living in someone else's house is hard. I don't mean to be ungrateful, but I don't feel at home here and it's a subtle little stress in our daily life. Our host has been wonderful though, and we are very fortunate to have somewhere so nice and spacious to stay.

Better now. Much, much better now.
We've put a deposit on an apartment. Hopefully it's all downhill from here. The apartment is small, but it has an oven (a rarity here). I'll discuss the apartment in more detail later after we've officially moved.
I'm coming home (to the States) in a few weeks to gather up more household items and visit for a few days. I'll be home the 21st and I'm back to S'pore the 29th. A short trip for such long flights (about 30 hours each way), but I want my things. Plus we have some loose ends to tie up with banking and such. There's so much to remember before a move like this....We've definitely made some mistakes along the way.
Joy of the day: Discovering Crest toothpaste at the grocery store near our new home. Crest is a rare find in this town. Overall though, we've been able to find most everything we want/need. Singapore's a pretty easy place to live in most respects.

More pictures!

Wildlife spotting: the Hanoi gutter chicken.

Trekking 'mongst the rice paddies. The path that Marjorie and the guide (and the village children) are on is wide, but the smaller muddy barrier between the two levels you see in the middle is the sort of thing we spent much of the time walking on.

The outhouse over the river during our homestay.

A big load of bull. On the right, smart guy. Water buffalo droppings were enormous. I had big plans to take a picture of one, and post it with the caption: "Marjorie's reluctance to use the local squat toilets ended in embarrassment after four days of trekking." But I forgot.

Lots to see in this picture. The waterfall was nice. The path down the mountain was typical, and very, very slippery. The bridge on the right had gaps of at least a foot between boards; Marjorie crossed it because she had her hands free; I took the easy bridge to the left, because I was carrying our walking sticks. That's my story, at any rate. The villager is, I believe, a Black Hmong.

A typical spread of food.

Problem resolved. The movies I uploaded caused me to go over my storage limit. There was no feedback, though, to tell me such, until I complained to tech support.

I had to delete some of the other movies, but here's another movie I've uploaded. This is the view from riding around in a cyclo (basically a rickshaw/bicycle). There's a good example within of how people cross the street, as well as the national sport of let's-see-how-much-we-can-load-on-a-bicycle.

Apartment hunting in Singapore makes me miss the care-free days of wedding planning.

This is a test, this is only a test. We're having problems with the blog updating so there's no content here. Just testing.

2003 is here. Let's hope it's as exciting and eventful as the last, though it's hard to see how it could be. We went to a small party at a friend of our friend's here, and considering how much red wine I drank, I'm lucky to only be feeling a little crapulent. I've been up for three hours and Marjorie's still asleep; I don't think she's faring as well...

I forgot to mention the cool thing I bought in Vietnam. I've decided to collect musical instruments from wherever we visit, and in Vietnam I decided on an instrument I saw played at the water puppetry: the dan bau. It's a single string, and you pluck only harmonics on it. The bar sticking up on the right is very like a whammy bar on an electric guitar. It's really cool. And it actually plugs in to an amplifier.

Tomorrow, once everything is open again, we start house-hunting in earnest. We have a number of criteria, which we hope won't hinder our ability to find a place:

Must be near MRT (subway). We're not going to have a car, so this is a must.

Near a grocery store. ("Cold Storage" is the only chain out here.)

Washer/dryer in building, or at least hookups for them. We're not into trudging bags of clothes onto the MRT.

A nearby pub. You might view this as a somewhat alcoholic- (or at least British-) sounding requirement, but we liked having one nearby where Marjorie used to live, just to nip off for a quick bite and a pint.

Wired for fast internet. A must, here.

Speaking of pubs, there's a hairdresser up the street that has a sign that reads "Unisex saloon". And another one two doors down apparently copied the misspelling. Lots of funny manglings of the English language all over southeast Asia. Reminds me of this site.

Year In Review This year has been amazing. Maybe the most intense year of my life. Here's a quick summary of the highlights and for some reason I've decided to include a song that reminds me of each moment:
1. Engagement in Paris, Christmas Eve, 2001. For those that don't know the story...Mark asked me to marry him after dinner in Paris on Christmas Eve. We were crossing a bridge over the river Seine with Notre Dome in the background when he got down on his knee and popped the question. Very romantic.
Song: Tower of Learning by Rufus Wainwright.
2. The Birth of My Niece Katie, first offspring from my side of the family. Song: Danny's Song by Kenny Loggins. "Pisces Virgo rising is a very good sign"
3. My Marriage to Mark. We got married in Key West in a very small ceremony on the beach with just our closest family and friends. It was really beautiful and intimate.
Song: Rainy Night in Soho by the Pogues because my darling Mark "you're the measure of my dreams, the measure of my dreams".
4. Hanging out with my best girl friends the day after our wedding. I so rarely get to see them and to have everybody together in one place was really great.
Song: Reunited by Peaches and Herb, because it felt so good.
5. Seeing David Bowie in an intimate show (about 1000 peeps) at St. Anne's Warehouse in Brooklyn, NY (Thanks again Mike!!!!).
Song: Moonage Daydream by David Bowie "keep your electric eye on me babe"
6. Meeting my friend Jenn in Atlanta. Friendships are sometimes like romances, you have immediate chemistry and immediately like each other and know you're going to be friends. It was like that with Jenn this year, and I'm so sorry I had to move before we got to know each other better. Thank goodness for e-mail, and I look forward to reading your blog and will keep harassing you until you create one.
Song: Waiting on a friend by The Rolling Stones
7. Leaving Atlanta after 10 years of residency. Atlanta was very good to me in the time I was there. I was really ready to leave, but I'm sure I'll miss it.
Song: Sugar Mountain by Neil Young.
8. Moving to Singapore. After months and months of talking about it, then more months planning for it, we finally did it.
Song: Island in the sun by Weezer. "We'll run away together, we'll spend some time forever, we'll never feel bad anymore. Hip Hip"
9. Visiting Vietnam. The longest and most intense vacation of my life. Very educational, but not an experience I'm likely to do again.
Song: In my place by ColdPlay. "I was scared, I was scared, tired and underprepared."
10. Culture shock, This is sort of the combination of Vietnam and Singapore and a prediction of difficulty to come. I'll do my best to maintain my sense of humour. It's funny, I remember reading the book "Culture Shock, Singapore" and thinking that culture shock was something we'd be immune to. If only.
Song: What's the frequency Kenneth by R.E.M. "Richard said to retreat in disgust is not the same as apathy".

We gotcher movies! Here's some footage we took with our digible camera during the trip.

The boats you see in this movie all have families who live on them. And almost all of them have a dog, which is really wild.

This is the house where we stayed on our "home stay" with the ethnic minority villager. You can see Marjorie sitting in the doorway with our guide. The small little bamboo shack in the very middle of the last frame was the outhouse, built over the river, with a hole in the floor.

More movies (and pictures) to come...

Note: If you're having trouble viewing these movies under Windows (they're QuickTime movies, which is an Apple format), try right-clicking the link and selecting "Save Target As..." to save it somewhere on your computer first. Then, double-click it in whatever folder you saved it, and follow the instructions... While we're on it, does anyone know a good .mov - to - .wmp conversion program?

Back "home", inasmuch as Singapore is home, which it doesn't quite feel like yet. Our seats on the flight back from Ho Chi Minh City were double-booked, so we got bumped up to bidness class. Very nice. Except that my salad fork wasn't chilled. It's so hard to get good help these days.

We're very much looking forward to all the "comforts" of "home" -- I think we're going to go hit Borders books first, and maybe a Starbucks for Marjorie. And for some reason we're craving Subway. I know none of that sounds very Asian, but we need to recharge our batteries after three weeks in (decidedly non-Western) Vietnam. (The only Western business we saw the whole time was a single Kentucky Fried Chicken in HCMC.)

Another day in Saigon I still maintain the opinion that, overall, Ho Chi Minh city is much easier to negotiate than Hanoi, and the hassle factor is less. The kids here, however, are much pushier. That said, the kids here, and over all of Vietnam, have been the best parts of our journey. Here are two opposing, yet striking images of kids burned into my memory now: 1. Little kid on the road in front of Reunification Palace holding a very real looking silver gun and pointing it into traffic. This kid would have been dead in the states. The police would have shot him. Very menacing looking image; 2. A very little boy (must have been 3 or 4, looked about the age of the kids I work with) tried to sell Mark some gum last night while leaving the very good German Restaurant (Gardenstadt- no kidding, the best German food Mark and I have ever had outside of Germany, In Ho Chi Minh City!!!!). Mark manuevers to get around him, kid manuevers to stay ahead, they both break into a run in front of me, the kid continues to chase Mark down the block (a game at this point). This was one of the most adorable things I've ever seen in my life. Really, made me want to laugh and cry at the same time, wish I'd had the camera out.
As a result of little guy number two I bought some stickers today to give to the little ones when they attempt to sell us something. This is nice, but doesn't work well. You end up with a crowd of whining kids around you begging for one more. And they're pushy, going so far as to put their little hands in pockets and feel you up to get to the stickers. Poor little guys. Really, they shouldn't be hustling on the streets at so young an age. They're so tough, but they're just babies. Sadly, Mark saw a little fellow about 6 or 7 yesterday selling cigarettes of all things.
We're are totally pampering ourselves our last day here. Tomorrow will be moving to the Rex Hotel. This may not mean much to most of you, but I'm sure you know what we're talking about Dad. Very plush.

Still confused as to why people think Ho Chi Minh City is more hectic than Hanoi. HCMC is a piece of cake, and has so many more places to dine and shop and drink than Hanoi. We're getting bad, though; we just ran out of the rooftop bar at the Caravelle Hotel after only peeking at the menu, because they were charging 46,000 dong for the cheapest beer. That's outrageous! We paid half that at the previous place. Then, riding down the elevator, we realized that that's only $3.00. What's become of us?

We went to the Czech restaurant in town today for a real beer. Then we got caught in a downpour on our way to try the Mexican restaurant in town (the Tex Mex Cafe); it was, uh, not very good. Serves us right.

We've settled into Ho Chi Minh City (Saigon), and it's not half as hectic as we were expecting. Everyone we talked to said it was worse than Hanoi, but it seems everyone we talked to was smoking something. There are wide sidewalks here, and traffic lights, and a lot less honking of horns. And, we found a supermarket! It was very exciting, after seeing nothing of the sort for weeks. We loaded up on goodies.

I was reading a book I bought in Hoi An called "In Siberia" by Colin Thubron, but I left it in the taxi when we got dropped at our hotel here. The blurb on the jacket reads that this guy was one of our greatest travel writers, which is a load of hooey. But I think I can do a pretty good imitation now of his style of writing, so I will describe our final day in Hoi An as he would:

We slept in on our final day, then camped out under beach umbrella to soak in a last lingering look at the majesty of the wind-swept ocean. The weather began to turn, and Marjorie internalized it; her illness an unhealthy portent for the trip ahead.

The car arrived to take us to the airport. He drove us down a street in the proximity of the hotel that had lurked nearby, invisible to our concious minds, perhaps visible only to those who sprung from the native soil. The road was an artery for the local village; each motorbike a corpuscle, carrying life-giving sustenance to those who dwelled there. Nearly half the houses were painted sky-blue, in defiance of the weather, as if to say to the Fates, do your worst. We will subsume you and rise above.

ESSCH! We're in Ho Chi Minh city. This is supposed to be the tough city, but so far Mark and I find it much more modern, clean, and manageable then Hanoi. Just goes to show......
Went to the War Remnants Museum today. Pretty disturbing stuff. Got stopped by a guy outside one of the halls, who was missing both arms and an eye. He was very pleasant and spoke English very well. He seemed to just want to make conversation and sell some books or postcards, but given the situation and my nationality (which he immediately inquired about) I felt very depressed and manipulated. Mark showed up shortly after I encountered the guy and gave me a graceful exit. The man did nothing wrong, but I still feel so horrible about the encounter. Guilty, is really how I felt. The museum really pushes the crimes the "Americans perputrated against the Vietnamese". Funny there's no mention of the re-education camps and the way south Vietnamese (ARVN) veterans are still being oppressed here today.
I'm sick again. I've been fighting headaches and the worst reflux of my life the last few days. Not sure what's going on, but I'm ready to be home. Too bad we don't really have one. Priority number one when we get back to S'pore is finding some kind of semi-permanent residence. We had thought about living in some kind of home-share with another expat couple, but I think that idea's been trashed. We need privacy, something I'd love to take for granted after over a month of traveling and living in other people's houses. I'm definitely starting to feel travel fatigue.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!!! Marjorie and I are sitting together at the Hoi An Beach Resort, and would like to send our warmest holiday greetings out to all, especially to our families who have been so wonderful for us this year.

Our Christmas wish came true for today; all we did was hang out at the beach, and the pool, and had wonderful weather the whole day. Other highlights of the day:

The next resort down has an elephant named "Darling" that we saw walking up and down the beach all day. We went down and had pina coladas at their bar.

Our hotel has an area of the beach that is free of people harassing you to buy things. It was fabulous.

Marjorie came out of the restroom after dinner tonight with a baby gecko on her shirt.

The weather looked threatening as recently as an hour ago, but now we see a multitude of stars.

Merry Christmas! Our xmas will be rather anticlimatic if the weather here doesn't clear up. We've no presents for each other and no special plans, but we have moved to the Hoi An Beach Resort. Unfortunately it rained all day today, hopefully we'll have better luck tomorrow.
Hope you are all having a wonderful holiday! I miss being a part of it all, but I'm sure this will be a memorable xmas in it's own right.
Very sorry to hear about Joe Strummer's passing. Sucks for us all, but especially for his family this time of year. Mark, I'm sure, is even more depressed than I, as he was a fan of Strummer's recent solo work as well as the Clash.
We are very out of touch with any global news or news of celebrities so we appreciate the updates (thanks Jenn!) about anything that might be important. The English newspaper here is rather bizarre, with an interesting twist on reality, tries to neatly summerize whole societies and such... you know, I'm sure our own papers do that but I don't pick up on it because the generalizations probably fit into my schema. Who knows.
We're here (in Hoi An) until the 26th, then we are off to Ho Chi Minh city/Saigon.

I'm so bummed! One of my musical heroes has died. Joe Strummer -- whose two recent solo albums are two of my favorite albums of the last few years -- has, like phony Beatlemania, bitten the dust. What a Christmas eve downer. Before even hearing the news, I was planning on coming in here and quoting this bit from "Straight To Hell", just because it's relevant to our current time and place. I guess it's now a tribute.

When it's Christmas out in Ho Chi Minh City
Kiddie say "Papapapapapasan, take me home.
See me got photo- photo- photograph of you and mamamamamamasan,
of you and mamamamamamasan."
"Let me tell you 'bout your blood, bamboo kid:
It ain't Coca Cola, it's rice."

Three Shirts, Two Pairs of Shoes, One Skirt, One pair of Cari Pants, and a Nightgown later.... I'm finished shopping. It's nice to have new things, but the custom-made experience is not without risk. The skirt I had made yesterday is already sort of falling apart as a result of wearing it out into torrential rain last night with another new shirt which leaked black dye all over the skirt. I frantically washed away at the dye on the skirt when we got back to the hotel and now the material is fraying(and the dye's still on it). Oh well. Also the shoes I had made look pretty cheap, but what do you expect for $20.00. I had Manola Blahnik dreams only to settle for something that looks like it's from Payless.
The weather has been very rainy for the last 24hours. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that tomorrow will be nicer as we'll be moving to the beach resort then. It doesn't feel at all like Xmas here. Part of me really misses all the shopping and stress and Holiday specials on TV. I'm a bit homesick still, but things have definitely been easier for us here in Hoi An the last couple of days.
We've made our reservations to leave for Ho Chi Minh City/Siagon on the evening of the 26th from Danang. Hopefully we'll have time for a boat tour of the Mekong Delta.

We happened into the same restaurant last night as Helen, our fellow traveler from Australia who we saw several times in Hanoi. So we dined and chatted into the night; she's a hoot. Hi Helen!

The long walk back at night, in the rain, was creepy; there was not a cyclo driver to be found, so we had to hoof it. Besides the "suburban" location, we realized our current hotel has these disadvantages:

1. The air conditioning doesn't work (despite our insistence on a room with AC).

2. Roosters. I've come to hate the filthy buggers. The myth that they crow at dawn is purely anecdotal; they crow all night. The fact that I had pho ga (chicken soup) for lunch today is just a coincidence, I assure you.

We've switched to a cheaper hotel to save some dong; the Phu Thinh II is almost as nice (pool, AC, cable TV, nice bed, but no bathtub) and is about a third the cost of the Hoi An Hotel. It's a bit of a walk out of town though.

I've left Marjorie to her shopping; custom-made clothing is addictive. She already has a blouse, a skirt, and two pairs of shoes, with eyes on at least two more blouses and a purse. We both kind of wish that we had come here first, with empty suitcases.

Another very Communist-seeming thing here -- there's a green army truck that rides around making stern-sounding announcements out of a large loudspeaker mounted to the cab. I have no idea what they're saying, but it sounds very Big Brother-y.

We're going to go lounge by the pool later; the weather here is fabulous, and our pool looks out over acres and acres of rice paddies.

Things are looking up After spending the night in a blissfully clean and comfortable hotel, I had a much better attitude towards our host country today. We rented a motorbike, much fun but an experience I'll let Mark explain, and then took off to discover if the beach was icky as I'd feared. My fears were luckily unfounded. The beach is beautiful, and minus the once a minute hassle of someone offering you snacks, a pedicure, or some kind of souvenir, it's blissful. You can see mountinous islands in the distance across a turquois expanse of sea off a sandy beach. I was in Heaven. We've already booked a room at the beach resort for xmas eve and day, that will be our xmas present as it's $60 a night (outrageously expensive for Vietnam, and that's a deal because we took a room near the construction site, but they're only supposed to work from 8am-5pm on xmas so hopefully not too noisy). We're spending one more night in the Hoi An Hotel, then we're off to another hotel in Hoi An that's only $15 a night, but still has a pool, then we'll be at the Hoi An Beach Resort for the 24-26th. Not sure what's after that, we'll probably head down to Ho Chi Minh for the last few days of our trip.
Swimming in the pool has been one of my great pleasures of the last two days, especially fun is singing "E. coli" to the tune of the "Ricola" commercial, while swimming up to Mark (I've noticed no clorine in the pool).
We had some clothes made for us today. Pretty fun to pick out the fabric and design of an outfit made especially for you. My outfit (skirt and blouse) was $21, which seems expensive here, but is really a steal. We'll go pick up our clothes soon, I'm expecting some modifications needed, but hopefully they'll still be nice. I'm scared they'll be made with white thread and single stitched since we didn't specifically request matching thread and double stitch, we'll see. Hard to complain either way. I think the ladies at the shop felt like we were dream customers because we didn't try to bargain down on the price.

We rented a motorbike today, which was a trip. Not the riding -- we've gotten used to how traffic works around here -- but the renting itself. The process literally took about 30 seconds. A guy right across the street from our hotel was renting for $5 a day; we said okay, and he gave us a key, asked our room number at the hotel, and that was it. No forms, no instruction, no anything; we didn't even give him our names.

This is truly the freest free market I've ever seen. You have a bike? Rent it out. You have a kitchen? Sell food. A washer? Do laundry. Set up anywhere, even on the sidewalks, and charge anything you want. Copy anybody's business name you like. Pirate CDs and books and sell them if you want. Walk into anyone else's business and sell your wares. It's crazy.

Speaking of pirated books, I've finished reading (and almost completely re-reading) "The Quiet American" (which was great), and have moved on to Irving Welsh (sp?)'s "Trainspotting", which I bought at a book trading place up the street. It's pretty obviously a pirated book; the print is fuzzy like it's been photocopied. It's raining, and we're stuck here, so you're going to get a lot of trivial information like that in this post.

I'm getting a shirt made today, for $8. I didn't even try to talk them down. Clothes-making is a big thing in Hoi An. If I had to live here, before long my whole wardrobe would be custom-made, I'm sure. Marjorie's getting a blouse and skirt for $12 and $9, I think.

An interesting experience in Hue the other day; we took a walk along the river through the non-touristed part of town. Actually, it was almost a shanty town -- certainly the low-rent district. Aside from the general disarray -- and the people we saw washing their dishes in the filthy filthy river -- it was a lot of fun, because every little kid we passed shouted "Hello!". I guess they don't see whiteys like us a lot in that area. It was very sweet.

Culture Shock Mark and I had bragged before this journey that we had never experienced culture shock, and were almost hoping to, at this point. Well, that is no longer the case. I'm deep in the throes of culture shock and want to retreat home to my mommy.
Everything is dirty here (including the gritty keyboard that I'm currently using), and there's soooo much poverty and desperation everywhere. Every encounter with the people is laced with scepticism, are they talking to me just to try to sell me something later (usually this seems to be the case, sometimes people are just curious and/or want to try out their English). There is constant hassling and haggling "you come in, you buy now". No peace, unless one retreats to the safe tourist only enclaves such as expensive hotels and restaurants. In the more typical restaurants you are constantly harrassed by venders trying to sell postcards, shoe shines, tacky souvenirs.....the list goes on.
Tonight we are staying in Hoi An, at the Hoi An hotel, a blissfully westernish establishment complete with swimming pool and cable television, very nice, but not hardly how the locals live. And hard to justify the $45 a night, when the less nice establishment down the street charges $6. I'm still hoping we can make it to a nice beach, but I saw what appeared to be the beach from the bus ride here, and it looked pretty run down, construction and dug up earth everywhere.
We'd heard that Vietnam was one of the, if not the most difficult travel destinations in Asia. I hope this is the case because I'm still greatly looking forward to visiting many of the surrounding countries, but honestly, I'm not excited about ever coming back to Vietnam. That said, this experience is still important and worthwhile. I wanted to see how the other half lives, and now, to some extent, I have. I'm feeling extremely grateful to be from my half. I hope that doesn't sound arrogant. It's not meant to be. The trip has been enlightening in many ways, one of which is to maybe show me that I'm not as "enlightened" as I thought I was.
Mark and I will be in Hoi An for the next two days, then who knows. We now will spend the last two days of our trip in Ho Chi Minh City/Siagon. Maybe we'll see if we can leave a few days early.

We went on our first cyclo rides today. Cyclos are those bikes with the passenger seat in the front popular everywhere in S.E.Asia. The drivers originally wanted 50,000 dong a piece to take us to where we wanted to go, but I talked them down to 40,000 for both of us. I'm getting better at bargaining. Of course it helps if you have some idea what you should pay for something. It also helps if you're willing to walk away if you don't get the deal you wanted, that's how we got the two for 40 deal.
Hue is hot! But, seeing as we now live in S'pore, it's not too bad. I'd love to get to the beach soon. It's becoming my obsession.
We tried to go to Phu Quoc (an island near Cambodia) for xmas, but seemingly everyone else here wants to do that too, and we can't find a room. Unfortunately, other popular beach destinations in Vietnam are not so nice....Nha Trang is reported to have syringes on the beach, and Phan Thiet supposedly smells of fish sauce (sigh).

Back from the Imperial Cty. Pretty cool. The grounds are humongous, and much of it is in disrepair. This was the North Vietnamese Army's furthest incursion into the south, and they held it for thirty-some days, before we bombed the crap out of them following the Tet offensive. So, a lot of the damage was done by our bombs, but mostly I think it's just disrepair. I promised Marjorie a place like it, someday.

Forgot to mention -- one of the money changers (I think the one at the airport on the way in) gave me a counterfeit 50,000 dong note (worth about $3.33), which was not noticed until I tried to spend it. The paper is splitting, like the front and back were printed separately and glued together, and the watermark picture of Ho Chi Minh looks different. It'll be a nice thing for the scrapbook.

Greetings from Hue'. We flew in relatively uneventfully today. Our head colds didn't give us the head-in-a-clamp effect they sometimes do when flying.

Only walked around a little bit. Nice weather here, and a less hectic pace, which is nice. We'll hit the Imperial City tomorrow. The thing we're most looking forward to, though, is clean laundry in the morning. Hooray! I'll spare you the gruesome details of the laundry situation. You have no idea.

In the gift section of the Hanoi airport today, amidst all the hooray-for-the-worker's-revolution books and others about Vietnam culture, I noticed a John Steinbeck book translated into Vietnamese. I had to ask the clerk for a translation of the title. He said, "The East of the Garden. No, The East of Heaven's Garden." Interesting.

WAH! We are both sick today with a head cold we probably caught in Sapa. And we have to fly (to Hue). And we can't get a hotel reservation on the island we want to go to for xmas (Phu Quoc). And Mark accidentily used the tap water to brush his teeth today, getting a whole new influx of bacteria in his mouth (yum!) Life sucks right now. I want to go back to S'pore.
On a brighter note, Hue is supposed to be rather nice, as is Hoi An nearby.

Another strange sighting on the streets here in Hanoi: the karaoke bar across the street from our hotel has what appears to be a small black bear in formaldehyde as its street display. Inside they seem to have other animals pickling in large jars. Really distasteful. Last night on the way back from Sapa we ate at a place that had a bottle of snake wine on display, which had a splayed-out cobra inside the bottle.

Went to the infamous Hoa Lo prison today, popularly known as the Hanoi Hilton, of Vietnam war POW prison fame. It is now a museum. Its focus is on the tortures inflicted by the French occupying forces (who built it) on the Vietnamese people. There's a small section on its use during the "American war" to hold American POWs, and no mention is made -- at all -- of the tortures inflicted. In fact there's a room showing pictures of prisoners being treated well and an inscription that claims that all the Americans were treated according to the Geneva convention, despite the "untold crimes" we commited on their people. They even had a volleyball net that was supposedly used by the Americans during their internment. Chyeah right! Senator John McCain, what an exaggerator. He was playing volleyball the whole time.

It occurs to us that we've seen no evidence at all that we're in a Communist country right now. If we were dropped here without any prior knowledge, we would think it was all just capitalist. The green military uniforms and the red flag make it look Communist, but there's nothing else that we've noticed.

We keep re-meeting fellow travelers and tour guides. It's like God is running out of extras in the movie of our lives.

Took the noisy, bumpy night train back from Lao Cai/Sapa last night, and arrived back here in Hanoi at around 5 am. Strange walking around the streets so early. Almost tranquil (but still stinky). Flying off to Hue tomorrow...

No pictures for you. Just found out this tidbit:

In Hanoi, the government puts a tone on the line every 15 minutes, making high-resolution transmissions impossible.

So it really doesn't look like we'll be able to upload any pictures. Alas. Maybe they're not like that in the south.

CELEBRITY GOSSIP You heard it hear first! Even in Vietnam we're in touch with celebrity dirt. Apparently Tim Roth ( Pulp Fiction, Reservior Dogs, Four Rooms..) is in Nha Trang filming a movie called "a beautiful place" or "a beautiful day" something like that. Anyway, he's apparently been hooking up with a different girl every night (he's married). A couple of the travellers we met in Halong Bay shared this tidbit with us and said some guy was going to try to sell the story to one of the British news-rags.

Still among the H'mong. I was embellishing the last blog last night when all the power in the city went out. Such is the way of life out in the middle of nowhere. Anyway, here are some random bits to fill in some of the gaps:

At one point some little H'mong boys yelled "Peh bah bah!" to us. We asked the guide what this meant, and it turns out they were saying "Pen! Bon Bon!". Lots of people give out pens or candies to the village children.

Our dinner last night at a restaurant in Sapa: two large bowls of noodle soup, stir fried chicken with peppers, fried noodles with mushrooms, garlic, and vegetables, a glass of Sapa wine (nasty, tasted like cooking sherry), and a Schweppes soda water. The total: 74000 dong, or a little less than $5.00.

After finishing up Clavell's "Tai Pan" and Hornsby's "High Fidelity", I traded in a few books a traveler's cafe for Graham Greene's The Quiet American. Marjorie laughed at me -- it seems to be such a cliche in the backpacker culture here to read it.

This is the hotel we stayed in last night. Not exactly rustic but then we've been OD'ing on rustic lately.

Apparently people selling goods in the market think we can't see their products unless they point to them. It's kind of surreal, all the attention you get. Makes you feel almost like a celebrity.

Advice for visitors: we were overcharged last night for internet service at Green Sapa. The cafe at the Auberge Hotel in Sapa is a much better place.

At our homestay, we didn't interact with the family much. Our guide told us we were going to do dinner with them, as we were the only guest staying there -- we were a little apprehensive, as we struggled to recall all the various courtesies we had read about (don't point the bottom of your feet at anyone; take food from the shared bowls with the back end of your chopsticks; always pass and accept items with both hands, etc.). But then another couple from Germany showed up, so we had to go eat at the "tourist's table". This was both relieving and disappointing. We did press our guide before we arrived on how to say "Thank you" ("chaw bye", sp?), and they did seem surprised and happy when we said it to them at the end of our stay.

Yes, we have been drinking from the firehose of experience here. Allow me to fill in a few gaps.

As we hadn't really planned on trekking, our shoes and clothes were, shall we say, atypical of most trekkers. Marjorie bought a beautiful velvety jacket in Hanoi before we came out here; as it was her only warm thing she wore it, and was the envy of most villagers. One Black H'mong woman even followed her around a bit to touch it and ask about it. I think she wanted to buy it and sell it to someone else. "H'mong" must be an ancient word meaning "persistent".

My shoes were far too slippery for the task. We had numerous sketchy moments; I ended up sinking my foot in mud the first day, and Marjorie the second. When they terrace the hillside to grow rice, they make a dirt wall between levels to hold the water; we had to walk along these dirt walls numerous times, and they were often six or eight inches wide and slippery with Georgia-like mud, with a pool of water on either side of you. I had only one real fall, and did a butt-slide for a short bit. Some of the paths required such intense concentration that I have no doubt I'll be trekking paths in my sleep tonight.

Uses for bamboo we noticed:

Water pipes

Walls and floors

Firewood

Smoking pipes

Bridges over muddy areas

Ladders

Clotheslines

Fertilizer (after burning)

Mudslide prevention (planting it on hillsides; it grows very quick)

Our guide Tung, on top of everything else, was an excellent chef, and cooked us almost embarassing amounts of food on several occasions. We're still being careful about what we eat though.

By the way, we are now back in the city of Sapa, which we didn't expect to have internet access, but here we are. We stay in a hotel tonight, which has hot water (variably hot, it seems, but still hot) but no room heat -- brrrr. It has a view out over the valley but we're high up enough here (3000+ meters, or over 9000 feet) that we've been in a cloud most of the time, so no real view. We start our trip back tomorrow at around 3:30 pm, when a bus will pick us up and take us to the train station which is about a mile from the China border. We then take the late train back into Hanoi.

We have so many pictures we're dying to show you all. These past two days have been incredible...

IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY IN SAPA Yesterday we arrived here by night train and then spent four hours hiking through the mountains with a guide. We spent last night in a "home-stay" at one of the villager's homes. Today we hiked three more hours out of the valley then had a jeep bring us back to Sapa. The whole experience was incredible. Hiking throught the muddy mountains was a very Zen experience, no time to think or worry about anything other than what is happening NOW or otherwise end up in the mud.
We saw many of the ethnic minorities of the area including the Black Hmong, who dress beautifully in indigo clothing and persistently try to sell you their wares as you hike up muddy embankments (slipping the whole way, they'll laugh at you for that). We also saw the Red Dzao people, who dress beautifully in red, and also try to sell you their products, but not quite as aggressively. We spent the night with the Dzay people. Barn yard animals aplenty: ducks, chickens (including several very noisy roosters), dogs and puppies, a cat, and of course water buffalo.
Our guide, Tung (means "pine") was so knowledgeable. He showed us the dried up Hemp plant which is a boom crop for the summer, but not for the reasons you think; they use the hemp to make thread (and we saw a woman working the hemp so it's true). He showed us some wild coriander and used it making soup for our dinner. He showed us the 101 uses for bamboo, but I'll let Mark talk about this. Also showed us the amazing ingenuity of these farmers. They really maximize their use of the water and land, including using water to run generators. They place their outhouses on top of the streams (smartly) to carry away waste. Our bathroom last night was a little bamboo hut over the stream with a hole in the middle to squat over. No running water other than the stream and no electricity except what is created by the small generator (which in our house was a bare light bulb, one in each room).
The whole experience was wonderful. The reason I wanted to come here was to see how the other half lived and now I have, to some extent. Having a nice hot shower today was a luxury I don't take for granted. So is good medical care...a lot of the kids had hacking coughs, runny noses, and possible eye infections. That said, they are definitely beautiful people, much more attractive than the folks we've seen in Hanoi. And they are extremely fit. They must be to hike through the mountains every day like they do.
The scenery should be mentioned as well. It's like the images on every guidebook for Southeast Asia and China, rice patties on hillsides with water buffalo munching away....Amazing.
At the end of our journey we were "adopted" by a kitten (like Katherine for Mom, Dad, and Susan). She begged food from us, she was just skin and bone...and after acquiring a full belly from "dropped" ramen, she took refuge on my lap and under my shirt. If we had found her in Atlanta there's no doubt we'd have a cat now.
I'd like to say more, but Mark is looking over my shoulder waiting for his turn to blog, so.......

One more quick check-in before we head out for the three day tour. Marjorie is (again) blogging at the same time so there might be repeat information.

We checked out the Temple of Literature today, which was mentioned, infamously, by Jane Fonda in her radio address to American troops as a place she visited here in the north. It was a beautiful, peaceful respite from the hectic pace of Hanoi. I'm used to "history" in America that dates back at most a few hundred years; this place was founded a thousand years ago. Hard to fathom.

Everything here is cheap, and the people are poor enough that you don't want to haggle. Still, I bought another warm sweater for our Sapa trip today; priced at 120000 dong, I offered 100000, and she accepted. That's about $6.50. We also bought groceries at the first grocery store we've seen (it was still tiny). We got a number of things -- two cans of Pringles, 9 bags of cashew nuts, some chocolates, toothpaste, a toothbrush, two bottled waters, some Chips Ahoy, and one or two other things. The total: 84000 dong, or a little more than $5. One could live here very cheap, if one could take it.

There is no McDonald's in Hanoi! First city of any size I've even been where that was the case. Plenty of Western products though.