Some further tribulations of writing science fiction:

1. How do you even name your characters, if they're from a species that doesn't even use sound to communicate? In most science fiction of this sort, they'll make up some random string of letters, like "Q'flth", which is just cheating to my eyes. Or, they'll have some quasi-Native American sounding name, like Speaker For Ancestors or StarToucher or some other such nonsense. It's a real problem.

2. Similies and metaphors are pretty much right out. You can't very well say a character has, I don't know, skin like tissue paper if there's no tissue paper within fifty light years. Just about everything you'd want to compare something to is man-made or earth-specific.

It's National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). Last year I vowed that this year I'd give it a go, but it's not going to happen. What I am determined to do, though, is to write up a science fiction short story idea I've been pondering for a while. I've told the idea to Marjorie, and even she thinks it's a good idea (which is a good sign, as not all that many of the books she reads have battling starships on the front cover).

I scribbled up a page's worth of ideas on the story yesterday on the way to work. There's lots of unknowns I still have to resolve. Fiction is hard. Especially science fiction, I think; my story concerns an alien race, which means that just about every little detail has to invented; their physiology, communication, social structure... I'm determined to make my aliens aliens -- I'm sick of stories featuring aliens that are basically humans with bug eyes. I'm also determined not to write a morality play, another science fiction peeve of mine.

Whenever I've tried to write fiction in the past, my prose has always struck me as so wooden you could build a bridge out of it. Fortunately, science fiction is very forgiving in that regard. Still, another guideline I've set for myself is to actually write the thing, not just describe what happens. There are some science fiction writers out there that can actually write, so the least I can do is try to lean in that direction. Rewriting will be the order of the day; I'm planning on doing as many drafts as I have time for.

My plan is to submit it to one of the monthly science fiction magazines, probably Asimov's, since they're probably most likely to be forgiving of my wooden prose style (judging by their founder's. Don't get me wrong, I loved the man). I probably won't be posting it publicly until I've received rejection letters from all the magazines. Wish me luck...

Some other differences about Singapore:
1. On any given evening, you can find people executing tai chi exercises outside their flats.

2. A frighteningly large number of men here keep there fingernails long and filed to a point.

3. Meat is frequently presented in "ball" form: Fish balls, beef balls, etc..

4. Some people seem very reluctant to admit they don't know something, and would rather tell you something that is complete and total pants before admitting they don't know. I believe this has something to do with loss of "face". A recent example of this would be our interaction with a waiter at a bar on Dempsey road recently. We asked him how to get to Sammy's Curry House from the bar, and then inquired if we could just walk up the road. He nodded and agreed we could just walk up the road, I asked how far it was, at this point he admitted he had no idea where it was. Truly helpful. In his defense, I think for many Singaporeans it is considered more polite to agree with someone who may be wrong then to admit you don't know.

5. Often when a person is agreeing to a possibility or looking for affirmation from you the word used is "can" as in "can this be done?" or "can" as in "it can be done" rather than saying "yes".

6. Questions are frequently asked by adding "is it?" to the end of a sentence. For example "You are American, is it?". This is probably the first Singlish expression adopted by expats here. You can gauge how long someone has been here by the number of "is it?"s they use.

7. Attentive costumer service is the norm here. It's hard to be ignored when you go into a store to browse. Even if you say you don't want any help, service people tend to linger just inside the discomfort range.

8. At the movies, you buy your tickets based on seating assignments; you can't just go in and sit wherever you want. We personally love this strategy as you don't need to rush to the theater to get a good seat once the tickets are purchased.

9. Eggs are sold unrefrigerated.

10. Meat is typically sold in packages advertised as "Frozen: thawed for your convenience". This always makes me wonder how old the meat is originally. There's no "frozen on this date" label.

A different tangent:
I was dive bombed by a crow this week. I must have been too close to it's nest/babies. The irony is that I've been somewhat obsessed with the limited number of crows I'd seen recently, as I'd heard there was a campaign to cull the crows due to their dive-bombing behavior and tendency to get into people's garbage. I'm still sympathetic to the crows, but must admit that it freaked me out having the one guy run his/her gnarly claws through my hair. The crows in question are located right next to the school where I work (which is right off Orchard road) and have attacked more people than just me. I wouldn't be surprised if these guys are killed by the cullers over the weekend.

Weird things under the bed. Anyone care to take a guess as to what this is? We found it under our bed, presumably left there by the previous tenant. It's weighted so that it always sits upright, like a Weeble. The pencil is there to give you scale.

Twenty little differences about Singapore, versus the US. There are big differences, too, but these are the little ones:

1. I have yet to see any roadkill at all.

2. You can often pay for your cab ride with a handful of change.

3. Shopping cart wheel can rotate in all directions, so carts can be moved sideways.

4. No parking meters -- instead, you buy coupons at a gas station or something and punch them out to indicate the date and time you're parking there.

5. Doors to businesses often open in instead of out.

6. Some places sell drinks not in cups, but in little plastic bags with straws in them. I have yet to see a Westerner carrying one of these though.

7. In the grocery store, beer costs more when you buy it cold.

8. Old ladies are generally referred to as "aunties".

9. Many women, especially the aunties, carry around umbrellas to protect themselves from the sun.

10. Taxicab dashboards ding when they are exceeding the speed limit (that doesn't usually slow them down though).

11. Your waitron, after bringing the bill, will stand by your table until you pay it, and give you change on the spot.

12. Taco Bell, yes, but no salsa packets. The taco meal deal includes fries, too.

13. Bottled water is always called "mineral water", despited the fact that no minerals have been added.

14. Busy intersection? Singapore's answer is to simply build a bridge over it, so that drivers on the main road that want to go straight can just keep going. Brilliant!

15. To deposit a check at the bank, just write your account number on it and drop it in the box. No envelope or signature required.

16. It's only one city, but phone numbers are eight digits.

17. Taxis and other cars stop for you on crosswalks. The little off-ramp crosswalks, not the major ones, but still.

18. Wall outlets have switches on them.

19. The school kids all wear uniforms. The little boys all seem to tuck their shirt into their shorts then pull their shorts up to around their nipples.

20. I have yet to hear a siren. Surely they must use them, at least on ambulances, but maybe they don't!

Today is the official national holiday of Deepavali, the Hindu "festival of lights". It started last week, but today is the day everyone gets off (except Marjorie and myself).

One TV channel is having a "Special Deepavali Feature Movie Broadcast", of -- Shaft, starring Samuel L. Jackson.

Don't you hate how Deepavali is getting all commercialized?

I was a fan of Elliott's too. In fact, Marjorie and I bonded over him on our first date. Here are some tributes to him out there on the web. I don't want to have to link to any more tributes any time soon.

Eliiott Smith killed himself; an apparently self-inflicted stab wound. Anyone who knows me well knows how much I admired this man. He was a tremendous talent, and frankly, a really nice person. What a waste.

Accosted in the street the other day by a well-dressed, well-spoken Indian man who said I had a lucky face -- three lines across the forehead. Also, March of next year will be a wonderful time for me. But, all was not good for me. The alignment of my cheeks and nose told him that I had some inner conflicts. I have a joyful face, apparently, but it reveals too much to my friends and business colleagues. He then showed me his business card and asked if I would like to schedule a face or palm reading. Ha ha, thanks buddy, but no thanks. Me, reveal too much with my facial expressions? I'm notorious for the opposite. This is me: :-|

In a term borrowed from another blog, Marjorie and I have taken to calling these people "Human Pop-up Ads". They need to have a little "X" on their forehead, that we can click to get rid of them.

Sad news. A guy I knew, but never met (as is so common in the internet era), ended his life last week. He went by the name "Sofa". I've been on a couple of different mailing lists with him over the years, and we exchanged emails on occasion. He posted comments here frequently while we were in Vietnam. Here are a few tributes to him out on the web.

Freaking tragic. I had really hoped to meet him some day.

Product of the month: I now have a can of Crispy Curry flavored Pringles on my desk.

Marjorie's friend Jen has gone back home. Jen set a new standard for graciousness in a house guest, being inobtrusive to a fault and showering us with several gifts. In turn, we gave her our cold germs just in time for the flight home. Sorry Jen!

Our guest bedroom is again empty. Who's next?

"Don't be a sickie!" I'm ill. Fortunate timing too as we have our first visitor in town. To her credit, Jen's been super about my pathetic state and has gone off to Changi Museum, Palau Ubin, and now to Malacca on her own. I'm starting to feel human again after two days in bed sneezing and coughing. Mark's already feeling the beginnings of his own bout as well. The one thing worse than the symptoms of your own illness, is the guilt of passing it on to your loved ones. Hopefully Jen will manage to avoid all the germs floating around us, the 30 hour plane-ride back to Atlanta is bad enough without a cold.

Hobbled. Went knee-to-knee with a guy on the other team who was at full sprint last night. It was early in the match, but I still finished. As soon as the game was over, though, it began to stiffen up like heckfire. The human body is a strange thing.

There was a guy, Ari, playing with us that's usually on the morning team, so I had never met him. He had a really strange accent that I had never heard before -- turns out that he's Finnish. Nice guy; got to chat with him a bit after the game while we played pool and had drinks at the O Bar. I've been meaning to list out my teammates here, just for my own benefit as a diarist, so if I read this down the years I can remember everybody. There's three teams, but we end up playing with (and sometimes against) each other a lot. All are Singaporean except where otherwise marked:

Coach: Munnn

Goalkeepers: Derek, Ivan.

Defenders: Edward, Andy (UK), Chris (UK), Andrew (UK), Ari (Finn), Pomp, Wi, Michael (UK), Ricky (UK)

Midfield: David, Charles, Jeffrey, MJ (Korean), John (UK), Taufig (sp?), Wilson, Ali (middle eastern?), Tim (UK?), Kelvin

Attack: Ottavio (Italian), Steven, Gimson, Greg (American), Graham (UK?)

In other news, Marjorie is laid up with a bad cold, and with me working, her friend Jen has been having to go off on her own a bit. She's seeing all the things we've been wanting to see, like Changi Prison and the mosque on Arab Street. Now she's off to Malaka in Malaysia, where we've never been. The fire walking, btw, was a bust; despite what the web site said, it actually happened in the morning. The cleanup crew was dismantling everything when we showed up at the supposed starting time of 5pm.

Props to Germany for winning the women's world cup. Wish they'd actually shown a game out here. Maybe they did and I just missed it.

Marjorie's friend Jen is in town. Yesterday we dragged her all over and regaled her ad nauseum with our pithy comments about all the interesting little differences here. We did Chinatown, Boat Quay, the Merlion, drinks at Clarke Quay, and dinner at Little India, which is crazy on Sunday night.

Today they're checking out the botanical gardens, and later we're going to try to check out the fire-walking which goes on a block from my office, and is part of the start of the Thimithi festival commemorating the start of Deepavali. I doubt we'll be able to see much -- there's already about five hundred pairs of shoes out on the sidewalk by the temple entrance.

Does Japanese Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi have the best hair of any politician living or dead, or what? I predict in the future politicians' hair will be measured on the Koizumi scale. "Oh, he'll go a long way as a politician, but he'll never be president with that 0.6 Koizumi hair."

More naycha. After a visit to our neighborhood grocery on Saturday we spotted a flock of long-tailed parakeets, which was cool. Then on the way home we spotted four or five of these sulpher-crested cockatoos, which aren't even listed in our bird books as residents. Marjorie says they've been hanging out a block from our house over for a while now.

Sunday we went to the Sungei Buloh Wetland Reserve to see some more stuff. We got up too late, as usual, so missed most of the bird action, but did see some sort of storks which we couldn't identify, as well as sunbirds, egrets, and sandpipers. Along the path we spotted this snake, as well as turtles and giant mudskippers. The mudskippers were interesting -- they blink by rolling their eyes back into their head, and do it one eye at a time, presumably for safety's sake. They had several signs up warning of crocodiles (or caimans, maybe). At the end we climbed their aerie and spotted not a crocodile, but rather this giant water monitor lizard, lazily swimming up the canal. He was a good 5 ft / 1.5 meters long.

We recommend the place -- there's a whole ton of blinds and such built just to make your nature spotting easier. But go at dawn or dusk.

Once again I have been passed over for a MacArthur genius grant. Once again, they gave them out willy-nilly to people who actually accomplished things. If I don't get one next year, I am going to write a very sternly worded letter.

I now officially have two jobs, which is nice, but I've been running since we got back from our trip, so this is the first chance I've had to blog.
Tokyo notes:
*There are VERY LARGE crows there who say "caw" as if taught to crow by humans. It's as if their hearts aren't really in it. "Caw, caw", it almost sounds sarcastic.
*Toyko-ans are a very well groomed lot, and they seem to be big on hats, which is cool with us because Mark enjoys it when I try on hats on our vacations. He thinks I look good in hats. For many of the vacations we've taken together you can find a picture of me trying on a hat
*We went to an interesting temple/cemetary, the Zojoji Temple, in which there where several rows of Jizobosatsu statues, which are the protectors of the souls of still born or otherwise aborted babies. Their parents write messages on tablets that hang near the Jizobosatsu statues; one of the messages was in English, it was a letter to an unborn child from berieved parents, very sad and touching. The statues themselves are dressed in little red bonnets and surrounded with little toy windmills. Some people might find the place very bizarre, personally I thought there was a really beautiful gesture in the whole idea.
*One of my favorite excursions was to Shimo-kitazawa, a really cute and funky neighborhood that took us away from some of the neon overkill of Shinjuku or Ginza (not that we didn't love that). The neighborhood seemed a bit like East Atlanta or Williamsburg, Brooklyn, a bit less expensive than other areas in Tokyo, but still cool and trendy.
*We purchased the new Rufus Wainwright Cd when we were there. I'm really enjoying it. Rufus rocks the house.
Overall, we both really enjoyed ourselves in Tokyo, and found the subway system much easier to negotiate then we expected it to be. Tokyo's well worth seeing if you have the chance. Hopefully we'll get to see more of Japan in the future.

As Marjorie mentioned, we just got back from Tokyo, and boy are our feet tired. We thought we walked a lot in Singapore, but we earned our Urban Hiker merit badges this weekend.

It was a very short trip -- a day traveling, two complete days there, and a day traveling back. It was all we could afford to take off at this point. We never realized before, that it's as far from Singapore to Tokyo as it is from Atlanta to Anchorage, Alaska. When I was living in Atlanta it was inconceivable that we would ever bop up to Anchorage for the weekend, but now that we're so far from everything we've developed an amazing tolerance for spending a day in a plane. What's bad is that we seem perfectly willing to bankrupt ourselves in the process of taking these trips; as soon as we get a few hundred saved up, it seems, we wander over to Travelocity.

We had a teaser visit to Tokyo once before -- a one day stopover two years ago. We coulda shoulda woulda stayed for longer but we were chicken. We loved our one day there, and it wasn't that scary, so we decided to go back, for TWO whole days this time.

ANYway. On the bus ride into town, we oriented ourselves by the Tokyo Tower, which we remembered from last time. It's Tokyo's answer to the Eiffel Tower. We lost sight of it eventually, until we got to our room, open the curtains, and it was RIGHT THERE. Across the street. Crazy.

Our first day was spent figuring out the train system, which we handled pretty well during the trip, as long as we had two brains and sets of eyes working together on it. Many of the signs, quite rudely I must say, didn't even have English translations. We rode out to some of the funkier districts and shopped all day, then had a few Bass Ales (which we had been missing) then tried to find the restaurant in Roppongi that we ate at last time. No luck -- they seem to have moved around the streets and buildings or something. So we just picked a different one at random and had another fantastic meal.

Monday we explored more districts, including the one famous for its "love hotels", that have hourly rates posted. We made a late try for the Imperial Palace only to find that it's closed Mondays. So we just wandered some more, cleaned up, then went out to the Ginza district for dinner. Ended up in "Yakatori Alley" which is lined with small sidewalk eateries serving up fried
veggies and meats and other animal parts. The "pig intestine" was bad enough, but then you read down the menu and see "pig intestine END". We found some safer sounding things to order, and it was all delicious. Much to the amusement of some surrounding customers, Marjorie tried to pay for the meal with about $700 worth of yen. We are lucky the lady was honest!

So mostly it was just random exploring and shopping, but Tokyo is one of those cities where just being there is enough. There's always something to look at or smell or taste or listen to. We even had an exploratory conversation about trying to move there, but I think we really can't afford to make the move right now.

There was a special treat on our final day. We awoke right around sunrise to catch our plane, and when we finally opened the windows, we caught a rare glimpse of Mount Fuji, right through the supports of the Tokyo Tower. It's not often that the air there is clear enough to see it.

We just crawled in, back from Tokyo. We had a terrific time and will definitely write more about it after a decent night's sleep. Tokyo is definitely among the world's most fun (and most expensive) cities.
Thanks to everyone who sent me birthday greetings here and via e-mail. I appreciate it, especially now that we're so far from home.