Podcast, schmodcast. Mixmaster Marjorie and I sat around the kitchen last night with some beers and played songs for at each other. We had just finished listening to the new White Stripes album, which ends with a gospel-y number, so "gospel" was the original theme. But we ran out of that, fast, and so switched to "original and cover songs", where we'd play a bit of the original and then play the cover. The playlist:

I'm Lonely (But I'm Not That Lonely Yet) -- White Stripes

Paul McCartney -- That Day Is Done (I like Elvis's version better)

Love Is Stranger Than Death -- The The

Jesus Gonna Be Here -- Tom Waits

Smells Like Teen Spirit -- Nirvana/Tori Amos

Which Will -- Nick Drake/Lucinda Williams

Hounds of Love -- Kate Bush/Futureheads

David Watts -- The Kinks/The Jam

Hallelujah -- Leonard Cohen/Jeff Buckley

Redemption Song -- Bob Marley/Joe Strummer (Somehow we don't own the original. Who could cover this song, but Joe?)

La Vie En Rose -- Edith Piaf/Louis Armstrong

New Amsterdam -- Elvis Costello/Tasmin Archer

Sabbath Bloody Sabbath -- Black Sabbath/The Cardigans

Cactus -- The Pixies/David Bowie

Hang On To Your Ego -- Beach Boys/Frank Black

Ruby's Arms -- Tom Waits/Frente

Gimme Some Truth -- John Lennon/Sam Phillips

Winterlong -- Neil Young/The Pixies

IGY -- Steely Dan (Who snuck that in there?)

The Other End Of The Telescope -- 'Til Tuesday/Elvis Costello

Speeding Motorcycle -- Daniel Johnston with Yo La Tengo

Police On My Back -- The Clash

Things started to break up towards the end, but it was fun.

Weird things my brain does.

1. Lately I've had the annoying tendency to confuse words that start with the same letter. So, I tell people I work on LaTrobe Street instead of Lonsdale Street (the next one down). Or I order a Cappriociosa pizza instead of a Calabrese (and end up with a pizza with anchovies. Ick. We peeled some off and gave them to the dog, and she promptly threw up). I confuse characters in books whose names start with the same letter, too. My brain must just index things that way.

2. While at work, particularly when I'm programming, I have random flashbacks, once or twice a day. Just for no reason, suddenly I start thinking about being in the parking lot of particular mini-malls back in Orlando, or ordering particular meals in restaurants in Atlanta.

3. The other day I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. As I was getting back into to bed, out of nowhere the name Gustave Flaubert pops into my head. Now, I've heard his name before, but I have no idea who he is (or I didn't until I just looked him up) and I hadn't heard his name lately, that I can think of.

Maybe I've been heading the ball too much in soccer.

At any rate, I've found a great new trick for training my brain. I'm starting a new project at work. It's a project that's been ongoing for a couple of years, and it's large and complex. I'm pretty much "drinking from the firehose" as they say, in the process of trying to assimilate it all. So, in the process of having things explained to me, I've decided to apply a method that Feynman espoused in one of his books. It's a simple principle, and it sounds obvious, but I don't think it's very widely applied, by anybody. Basically, what you do is to not let the person who's explaining things proceed until you are absolutely sure you understand the previous bit. Ask stupid questions, even if it's about something you probably should have known already and it makes you look bad. If you don't get it, make the person repeat things, even if they've just spent a half hour explaining it. Don't just let things proceed and hope that you'll get it through osmosis or something later on.

It works, and very well. My initial impression of this project is that it's pretty much the equivalent of a car that runs great but is maintained using silly putty, duct tape, and some very knowledgeable mechanics. It's my job to pretty much rein it in, or at least come up with some explanations as to why it requires such constant maintenance, so I have to pretty much get it all down cold. And to document everything, of course. Joy.

Is on-line grocery shopping still happening anywhere in the states these days? Mark and I have been occasionally using Coles on-line here, for our big shops as it's more than worth it to pay a $5 delivery fee to have some one deliver all the heavy items we would normally have to carry.
Seems like this would be great for areas like New York City. Does anyone know if it's happening? I know there was a service in ATL, but it went under.

Brrr. Coldest day of the year so far, I think. There were threats of snow in Melbourne today. It hasn't snowed here in ten years, from what I've heard. And we didn't get any, though I heard rumours of flurries.

Ever heard of Sudoku puzzles? I stumbled across them on the net yesterday, and played a few today at lunch. They're apparently big in Japan, huge in Europe, and sweeping America, but I had never heard of them. Then, coincidentally, a woman on the tram home today pulled out a book of them to pass the time. They're fun, but I like tsunami puzzles better.

Mark and I often talk about "Clue Cards" to help the fashion challenged. One of my biggest pet peeves is inappropriate midriff exposure, which we see a lot here in the warmer months. This week I learned a new term for the I.M.E., courtesy of Mark, the term is "muffin-top". Perfect.
The other thing that's exciting me this week is the amazing cover of "Hounds of Love" by the Futureheads. It's brilliant.

There are now only eight planets. Or ten, depending on how you count them, but I think eight is more proper. A new object has been found orbiting the sun that's bigger than Pluto, and even comes closer to the sun than Pluto's farthest point. There are many who feel that Pluto already shouldn't be considered a planet.

No matter how you slice it, it just ain't right to say that there's nine planets anymore.

Just finished Heinlein's The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress. I agree with the author, that this is his best work. I had given up on him after reading Stranger In A Strange Land, which I disliked rather much.

Looks like this book may join the long line of obscure books that get made into movies shortly after I read them. Previous examples include A Beautiful Mind, Master and Commander, and one other that escapes me. Hopefully this one won't star Russell Crowe.

There's another thing we learned last weekend.

We rented a car, and ended up driving our nutty dog Laika up through the central business district (CBD) of Melbourne, quite possibly for her first time ever.

It was Saturday afternoon, and the city was a whirl of sights and sounds. So it was surprising that any single stimuli might catch her attention. But, from a long way off, she spotted some horses pulling a carriage. And just freaked out.

I guess we can't ever send her to live on a farm. Apparently our girl hates horses.

Chicken Parmesan or "parma" is a Melbourne pub staple that we've enjoyed on many occasions. It's a rare pub that doesn't serve it.

A few weeks ago we caught a special on TV about a group of guys who go around and rate the best chicken parmas in Melbourne (no doubt in defiance of their doctor's orders). Turns out the best is just up the road from us. So we went and gave it a shot the other day.

I don't know what we were expecting. How good can a chicken parma actually be? It's not like they make it with ambrosia. It was good enough, I guess, but paroxysms of culinary ecstasy eluded us.

Club song. My soccer team sings a club song when we win. Every footy team down here also has a song. I don't know where these songs come from, but I'm sure there's some recycling going on. I know some of the footy songs date back to the '20s at least.

Since we've won our last four games, I've actually gotten to learn the club song. The words are interesting to me, because they seem to be carefully worded to avoid asserting the greatness of the team or anything like that. I'm not sure why; perhaps they are designed to be singable even when we lose? Here they are:

Weeeeeeell it's a grand ole team to play for,
And it's a grand ole team to see,
And if you know your history,
It's enough to make your heart's go whoa-o-o-o,
We don't care what the other teams say,
What the hell do we care?
Coz you always know,
That there's gonna be a show,
And the Middle Parkers will be there.

We are back from Hamilton Island (but we're not sure why).

Hamilton Island is the largest populated island in the Whitsunday island chain, just off the Great Barrier Reef.

Day one: Got up far too early to catch the flight, but it had us there by 10:30am or so, so we had the whole day to explore. While sitting on the balcony of our room, we were swooped by some Sulphur-Crested Cockatoos, which liked to perch on the rails of our villa. Later we were to find out that these cockatoos have a sort of Crips vs. Bloods thing going on with the crows all over the island, competing for scraps left (accidentally or not) by tourists. Also getting in on the action were Rainbow Lorikeets, Pied Curawongs (new bird sighting!), Silver Gulls, and a Pacific Black Duck. (We also spotted Yellow-bellied Sunbirds, Purple Swamp Hens, some sort of Friarbird, and some sort of eagle, or perhaps a Brahminy Kite).

No cars to speak of on the island -- just golf carts. So we rented one to tool around in. Even at golf cart pace, you can probably drive on every inch of road on the island in about 45 minutes. So we scoped it all out, then I pulled us into Wire Flyer, where they strap you into a hang glider and send you off, albeit dangling from a fixed wire. I was going to chicken out, but peer pressure won the day. Very fun! I want to try the real thing now. (Marjorie would have gone, but we only had enough cash for one, and it was my birthday.)

Later we went down to the one bottle shop on the island for a bottle of wine, and headed up to One Tree Hill to enjoy the view. Reminded us both of the Pacific northwest, actually.

Had some nice steaks for birthday dinner.

Hamilton Island was interesting to me in that they practically have their own currency (most people opt to charge everything to their room, which every business in town [save for Wire Flyer] accepts). And, there's exactly one of every institution required to make life livable to a Westerner -- one general store/grocery, one post office, one video rental place, one hairdresser, one church, one bottle shop, one health club, one pharmacy. Of course, there are several restaurants and souvenir shops.

Day two: Slept in. Had lunch and headed out towards the unpopulated section of the island, which accounts for about two-thirds, up some well marked hiking paths. We ended up going farther than we expected (to within 750m of the peak) and enjoyed some magnificent views. Came back and waded out in the water off the beach for a bit. But as I stupidly forgot to pack my contact lenses, my snorkel gear wasn't much good.

Day three: We had scheduled a snorkel trip out to the reef. Fortunately we found out that they offered snorkel masks for different prescriptions, so forgetting the contact lenses wasn't a problem. The operation was Fantasea, and it was quite an operation. They took us out (in two meter seas, which was a chunder-fest for many passengers) to their exclusive platform on the Great Barrier Reef, known as (ulp) ReefWorld. Not the most organic of first experiences on the reef, but we came to appreciate the amenities. Water much calmer there with the protection of the reef. I got my prescription maskie, and we suited up in our wetsuits (water was quite chilly). We basically only made one long pass of the snorkeling area. Spotted a green sea turtle and a good number of other interesting fish, though. Swam up onto one sandy patch when Marjorie started plucking at my leg. At least I thought she was; turns out I was being attacked by a very territorial (and dauntless) little fish. We headed back soon after; even in our suits, the water was too cold for our blood.

Back on the platform we got some lunch, then headed out on their half-sub, which is like a glass-bottom boat, only you are much more down in the water, and can look out the sides. Very nice. Got to see a few more turtles. It was the start of manta ray season, and they even occasionally spot a whale, but no such luck today. Back at the platform we could see a massive grouper ("George", they've named him) that hangs out under the platform. He's at least six feet in length. The platform also has a fixed viewing chamber which we checked out, where a wrasse that was a good four feet long (big enough to have two remoras) swam by for our benefit.

All in all, a very nice operation, but I would recommend going during the middle of the week, and not at the height of winter!

Day four: Wake up, breakfast, and fly home. Lots of screaming kids.

We got our doggie back! She was staying with another family courtesy of TopDog Minders. A great operation, and quite affordable. We're worried, though, that she may have had too good of an experience; she got to play with another dog the whole time, whereas she's alone much of the time with us. Though initially happy to see us, her reaction at being home I would qualify as "reserved". She does seem a bit tired, so maybe it's that. Next time, we'll put her in one of those cement-and-chain-link kennels -- that'll teach her to appreciate us! I kid.

Attack of the hippies. So yesterday I took a break at work, and headed down to the food court below the building to use the ATM. Just as I arrive in the lobby, a dreadlocked mass of hundred or so hippies storms in. Each was carrying a sunflower. Several of the more ambitious ones jumped over the security gates, trying to reach the elevators. They were whooping and hollering. Some of them followed me through a door they thought led deeper into the building, but actually led into the food court. They sheepishly ran back in. When I got back from using the ATM they were squatting in the lobby, chanting "One two three four, we don't want no global war." A couple were arguing with a security guard who they said was using excessive force in preventing them from getting through the security gates.

While I don't know what their specific beef was, I did figure out that they were protesting BHP Billiton, who we share the building with.

The police came, and I eventually made it back through the gates and into the lift.

We are definitely not in Singapore anymore!

Man of action.

Yesterday marks one year that we've been living in Melbourne. It doesn't seem that long at all. The amazing thing (to me) is that I haven't been on a plane since. I don't think I've ever gone a year without jetting off somewhere since the first time I flew.

Not that nothing is scheduled. We'll soon be flying off to Hamilton Island. I'm really looking forward to this.

May be starting a new project at work soon, which might send me to Adelaide on occasion as well.

Apropos of nothing, I have really bad hiccups right now, that have been going on for a half an hour.

Marjorie often accuses me of having a fourth-grader sense of humor. I deny that. Actually, I think she's just mad because my sense of humor is rubbing off on her. She even makes puns these days.

Anyway, there's a song that my friend Jim used to sing that I recently tried to remember. It took a while for us to piece it back together, but I think we have it. It's very much the sort that would appeal to a fourth grader. Oddly enough, neither of us could find it anywhere out on the web. Sorry I can't post the melody, but here are the words:

Old Lady Bliss
Went out out to piiiiiiiii...ck some flowers
Stood in the grass
Up to her aaaaaaa....nkles, dearie
She saw a bird
Step on a turrrrrrrr...key feather
It broke her heart
She let a farrrrr...mer take her home.

Visit Austrlia. We may have one less apostle but we do have one more dolphin species.

Just bought a new 19" flat screen monitor that's big, bold, and beautiful. And what better way to break it in than some new pictures from space. I'm giddy. Earlier today the Deep Impact mission successfully slammed a coffee table-sized probe into the comet Tempel 1 to analyse the ejecta. The comet is a dirty snowball that has been sitting around peacefully since the time that the planets formed, so analysing what it's made of should tell us lots about the early solar system. Great work folks!

Update: Now with video. How did you picture a comet to look like, up close? I really had no idea. There's no sense of scale in the video, but the thing is about half the size of Manhattan. I've never thought of comets as things you could walk around on.

Last night we celebrated our anniversaries (three years of marriage, seven years together, and one year in Melbourne) by getting all dressed up and going out to the Waterfront Restaurant. It was nice, but we are a bit crapulent today.

Our new pub is fifteen minutes walk away. There are three or four pubs closer, which is why it took a while for us to find it. We like it quite a bit. Big and homey, with an interesting menu. They've decorated with some interesting kitschy touches, and have a couple of fireplaces and a mellow tabby cat that's given free wandering rights of the place. There's also a big lovely beer garden out back that we're looking forward to hanging out in come spring.

Last night we played trivia there -- it was their first night having it, I think -- and won. Took away two bottles of wine and six free drink coupons. Not a bad haul.

The Big Idea. Our company is pushing a big Thought Leadership initiative. They want us to come up with innovative new ideas, and leverage them into the market. (Did I really just say "leverage"?) There's even a prize for the best idea that's proposed within the next few months: a trip for two to Byron Bay.

Right about the time they announced this, an awesome new idea struck me. The particulars of it are technical (they're described at the end), but in short it would mean that at the very least our company could be producing much more reliable software. Conceivably the Idea would grow to become the ultimate new must-have testing tool. And further afield, I thought it might have the chance to change the way programming itself is done.

I thought about it for weeks -- in bed, on the toilet, on the tram. It would be difficult to write, but not beyond my ability. I had visions of leading a group of employees to develop and expand it, and to apply it to our existing applications. Or even to apply it to existing software (such as the Java Virtual Machine itself).

It would be hailed by one and all. And I would be feeling all smug and heroic while Marjorie and I relaxed up in Byron Bay, margaritas in hand.

The Idea was sitting out there, ripe and unplucked. I looked around, and could find no one else who had done it before. This was it. My big moment.

And so. Just before I started bearing down to work on a proof of concept, I decided to give one last look around to make sure it hadn't been done before. And as you've probably guessed by now, I found a product that does exactly what I had been thinking of, and then some.

Rather dismayed, I downloaded and ran it against our current project, and it found a lot of bugs. They did a great job with it, but the fact that it has not taken the programming world by storm is of some small consolation.

[Geeky technical description: I'll talk about how it applies to the Java programming language, but there's no reason why it couldn't be applied elsewhere. It occurred to me that you could, through code analysis, determine places in the code where null pointer exceptions would occur, simply by tracking variables as having a value of "null", "not null", or "maybe null". Methods would be tracked as returning the same possible values. So, it is quite possible to determine, for every pointer dereference, whether a null pointer exception was even possible. A program that passed such a scan with no possible null pointer dereferences would be guaranteed never to crash that way. And that is one of the most common ways for a program to crash.

After considering that for a while, it occurred to me that other unchecked exceptions, such as array index out of bounds and class cast exceptions, could be scanned for in a similar manner.

The program I found that does it is JLint. It finds many, many other kinds of bugs as well. You can integrate into the Eclipse API using this plugin, just like I was planning to do with my idea.

I don't know why it's not used more widely. Probably because it was done as a research project and has no advertising dollars behind it.]