How to get a week off work and loose five pounds:
Step one: pick up a nasty bacterial infection (Campylobacter Coli/jejuni). Apparently it can be found in some sketchy water sources and uncooked chicken. It's usually caught while traveling in less hygienic countries, but if you're resourceful you can find it domestically.
Step two: Let the bacteria work it's mojo. If you're lucky you won't be able to eat anything for a good five days, and stomach cramps will continue anytime you DO eat something for an additional five days.
Enjoy! Or maybe not.
This week I have been sicker than I've been thus far in my life. It's not the worst food poisoning I've experienced, just the longest. I started feeling bad Friday morning last week, and a week later, I'm mostly recovered, but still crampy.
It was actually good news when I got the results of the pathology report and discovered it was a bacterial infection. At least now I don't have to worry about giving this to Mark or anyone else. Fun stuff!