This horrible year

2024 is drawing to a close, and good riddance.  We lost my dad in February; my mom, a month later in March; and Marjorie's mom just three days after that.  Needless to say we were in shock for a long while afterwards, but I wanted to include some things here for posterity.

Dad's obituary, from this site...

John Philip Schnitzius passed away on February 10th, 2024 in Cocoa Beach, FL, just shy of his 87th birthday.

John was born on 02/14/1937, the son of John Alphonse Schnitzius and Frances Rose (Szymanski), and grew up in Mount Ephraim, New Jersey. He acquired his associate degree from Temple University and his BS in Electrical Engineering from Drexel University. He met his life partner Loretta at the Dancette Ballroom in Oakland, NJ, and they were married on 02/24/1962. John worked as an electrical engineer for many years, for NCR, Harris Corporation, and NASA among others, living in Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Delaware, and Florida before retiring in Cocoa Beach.

John was an active boater and sailor for many years, and was a member of the Grumpy Ole Sailors and the East Coast Sailing Association. Whenever he wasn't on a camping trip with Loretta, he was planning his next trip. He loved adventure, fishing, hiking, camping and traveling. He was an amazing husband, father, grandfather, and great grandfather, and always had many friends, old and new. John has been described as wise and kind and humble, always willing to give advice or help with a lending hand.

John was a eucharistic minister and longtime member of the Church of Our Savior in Cocoa Beach.

He is survived by his wife, Loretta of nearly 62 years, his three children, Kevin Schnitzius and his wife, Kim, Danielle Schnitzius Norwood and her husband, Charlie, and Mark Schnitzius and his wife, Marjorie; his five grandchildren, Abi Schnitzius, Livia Schnitzius, Bryce Schnitzius, Chaeli Norwood Harden (Kevin), and Chase Norwood, and by his great grandson, Kix Harden. He is preceded in death by his parents, John and Frances, and by his sister, Clare, and brother-in-law, Bill Leap.

Services will be held Friday, February 23rd at 10:30 a.m. at the Church of Our Saviour in Cocoa Beach. Burial will follow at 12:30 p.m. at Florida Memorial Gardens in Rockledge. In lieu of flowers his family asks that donations be made in John’s name to the Cancer Center of Merritt Island.

The text of my Facebook post about Dad...

Dad was really into boats and fishing, which never really rubbed off on me. Even still, I have lots of great memories of family trips in the boat out on along the New Jersey coast. We also took a long driving trip down to Florida every year for quite a few years in a row. It was a happy childhood for me. He loved an adventure, which certainly *did* rub off on me, but only in retrospect do I think his main motivator was making his kids happy.

Dad always, always had time for my questions, and I had a lot of questions. Sometimes when I only wanted a quick answer it became an hour of writing things out on graph paper or looking things up in the Encyclopedia Britannica. He taught me about math and chess and computers, and from him I credit that part of me that takes problems aside that initially seem to be a complete mystery and sit with them until I figure them out.

Going into computers was an effortless career choice for me, and so it was no real coincidence we both ended up working at the same huge area employer of technical people of all sorts: Kennedy Space Center.  We worked for different companies there, but we ended up working in the same building (among many) for a year, maybe two?  On the father-son relationship timeline, this had to be a peak.  

He loved his music, but had no real ability, and I think deep down he would have loved it if one of us became a concert pianist. He loved a good joke, too, but had no real ability to tell one. He would sometimes try, then get to the punchline and say something like “Wait, I want to make sure I get this right. [pause] So, the *banker* says...”.  And where a lot of people say they use profanity to blow off steam, my dad did it better than anybody -- he hardly ever swore, but sometimes he would mess something up, flash with anger shortly, saying "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh..." and end it with a quiet "shit" before breaking into laughter.

When one of his early jobs wanted him to start clocking in and out, he refused, and quit. But later on he took on a few jobs that had him commuting some really long distances so us kids could stay in our same schools with our same friends. I remember him as anxious frequently during these times, but as the years went on he came to realise his kids were turning out happy and successful, and he seemed to relax a lot. He of course wasn’t happy when I moved away, then further away, then even further away, but us kids were always free to set our own course.

Human lives can’t be summed up in a few paragraphs, so any obituary or eulogy is going to come up short. But I want to share a few little things that have come up in my memory this week that might give some glimpse into how *nice* of a man he was.

One time my parents came to visit while we were living in Singapore, and while they were there we took a slightly nutty side trip into Malaysia. On the long bus ride back I sat a few rows behind my father, and sat fascinated as he chatted with the tour guide across the aisle. The guide was Malaysian, Muslim, and probably 30 years my dad’s junior, and having nothing in common and without artifice, my dad just kind of effortlessly befriended him, across the cultural gap, and they shook hands warmly and said goodbye at the end of the trip.

Another time I came home for a visit, my dad mentioned to me how he had sold the old electric guitar we had in the attic at a garage sale, for like $5. It came to light that he had told the person who bought it that it worked; I told him though that it was actually broken. I started to make a joke about it, but then I saw how crestfallen he was – it wasn’t enough that he thought he was telling the truth at the time, it had to actually *be* the truth. And so we sat there a while brainstorming ways to get back in contact with the person.

I could go on. But it’s inevitable that most of my personal memories of my dad will die with me, as the memories of his dad died with him. Every morning since his passing I’ve woken up to thought, wow, it’s really real, Dad is no longer in the world. I have a lot of friends who have known grief in their lives, some all too recently, who must know how this is. I just really, *really* would like to talk to him again, and not even about anything.

Mom's obituary, from here...

Loretta Eleanor Schnitzius passed away on March 12, 2024, in Cocoa Beach, FL, just a month after her husband John of 62 years.

Loretta was born on October 28, 1937, the daughter of Felix Michael Thompson and Helen (Gąsior), and grew up in Camden, New Jersey. She met her life partner John at the Dancette Ballroom in Oaklyn, NJ, and they were married February 24, 1962.

Loretta was an award-winning artist specializing in watercolor painting. She received recognition as the poster artist for the Space Coast Art Festival and received awards in numerous shows and exhibitions in and around Brevard County, New Jersey, and the Rehoboth, Lewes, and Cape Henlopen, Delaware area. She was active in the Florida Watercolor Society, the Brevard Arts Council, and numerous other artist groups and galleries. Her skills live on in the students she taught in classes down the years and inherently through her children and grandchildren.

She was an active boater and sailor for many years, and was active with the Grumpy Ole Sailors and the East Coast Sailing Association with her husband, John. As a pair, they took numerous camping trips all around Florida, the United States, and internationally. Despite her desire to always run off and have the next adventure, she was the steadying influence in her household for her whole life. For many years she attended mass and was active in the church and organizations at Our Savior Catholic Church in Cocoa Beach, and was an amazing wife, mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, and friend.

She is survived by her three children, Kevin Schnitzius and his wife Kim, Danielle Schnitzius Norwood and her husband Charlie, and Mark Schnitzius and his wife Marjorie; her five grandchildren, Abi Schnitzius, Livia Schnitzius, Bryce Schnitzius, Chaeli Norwood Harden (Kevin), and Chase Norwood, and by her great grandson, Kix Harden. She is preceded in death by her husband, John Schnitzius, her parents, Felix and Helen, and by her brother, Tom Thompson.

Services will be held graveside at 2pm on Tuesday, March 19th at Florida Memorial Gardens in Rockledge. In lieu of flowers her family asks that donations be made in Loretta’s name to the Cancer Center of Merritt Island.

And my Facebook post about Mom.  

I owe her a longer post but I couldn't find the words at the time.  So this was all:

And now, Mom.  Just a month and two days after Dad.  We're sad, but they would have chosen to go even closer together if they could.

 

I'll leave Marjorie to decide whether and what she wants to post here about her mother.  I'm at least glad I got to be with her at the end, and to be there for Marjorie.  Those were some awful days.