Wednesday, September 11, 2002

I suspect every blog in existence will have a special 9/11 entry containing reflections on last year's tragedy. I'll start mine a day early with a straight description of my experiences on that fateful day, while I gather my thoughts for tomorrow's inevitable opinion piece.

I heard the phone ring twice while I was in the shower. The third time it rang I was able to answer. It was Marjorie, telling me to turn on my TV, and omigod can you believe it. Like everyone else I'm sure, I spent a long time staring in disbelief.

The drive to work was of course spent listening to the news. When I arrived at work, everybody was in the cafeteria watching the TV, in an eery silence. We all had to eventually trickle back to our desks, but we took every chance to check back with the TV, or at least surf news sites. I remember most of the major ones were offline, just from the sheer volume of hits.

I remember doing some work, but everyone was having a difficult time concentrating. A rumor began spreading that President Bush was going to be heading into Dobbins Air Force Base, which was right near us. This was the excuse that everyone needed, and most people bolted, out of fear of getting stuck in traffic while blocked off for a presidential motorcade. I stayed a while longer, though.

Marjorie and I watched TV long into the night, and pretty much solid for several days after, when we weren't at work. I remember a point a few days after where I had to just get up and pointedly turn off the set. It was just time to start thinking about something else. Marjorie thanked me.

For posterity, I want to try and describe a feeling I had in the days following, a feeling I have lost now. It was the apprehension that hit you whenever a plane flew overhead (once flights were resumed), or even just being outside. It was like, the sky was a roof that could collapse on you. And the airplane, which had always symbolized to me this wonderful freedom to be able to explore the world, had suddenly lost its innocence, like a longtime companion lapdog that one day decides to maul your hand. For good or ill, this feeling is gone now.

No comments: